Under Perfection Lies Broken Pieces
by smartlooser
Summary: An AU version of Blake Moran. Why is he so put together all the time? What hidden pain lies behind the perfectly put together young man? Elizabeth McCord discovers that her assistant, Blake, whom she would not know what to do without, is hurting and she slips into "Mom-Mode" to take care of him and to give him the family that he missed out on having. Rated T for violent imagery!
1. Under Perfection Lies Broken Pieces

AUTHOR NOTE: I have never tried to write a fanfiction like this. I do not claim to be a good writer, but this idea has been plaguing my mind for a few weeks and I just had to get it down on paper. This is an AU version of the characters. It does not follow the canon story line. I do not own these characters I only take them out for a spin. Feedback is appreciated. I went to school with a guy who reminded me a lot of the character of Blake and based my version of Blake accordingly. I like stories with lots of drama and unearthing relationships that normally stay hidden. This will be a series of glimpses into the relationship between Blake Moran and the McCord family. Thanks for reading.

"what's next Blake?" Elizabeth sighed from the back seat of her motorcade. She had just finished yet another meet and greet on her world wind campaign tour. She was so exhausted and missed Henry and just wanted to melt into his arms. Her safe place. But it was not meant to be. "I really hope you are about to tell me about a last-minute cancelation" she said hopefully with a little half grin.

"not so lucky there ma'am" Blake said gently. He knew she was tired. Hell, so was he. If you had told him a year ago that he would willingly be on the campaign trail with the secretary as her right-hand man, he would have said you were crazy. "You have the children's literacy luncheon, followed by a speech for a playground unveiling. After that you have an hour and a half before a dinner for campaign donors" he said in his normal straight forward way.

"Ugh…Can I say that I am so over this campaign! I miss my family and I swear to God I think my hand is getting bruised from all the hand shaking" Elizabeth wined while flopping her head back dramatically. She looked over to Blake with her puppy dog eyes and said "Do I have to?"

"No ma'am. You most certainly do not have to do any of this, but that would also mean not being President and we both know your stance on that" he tells her as he begins dialing Dr. McCord's cell number on his phone. As it rings, he switches to Facetime and hands the secretary his phone. She is confused at first until he hears her husbands voice and smiles so wide its almost painful.

"Henry…I miss you so much! I just want to be in your arms…" Elizabeth coos to the phone. Its at this time that Blake puts soundproof headphones on and leans back in the seat and closes his eyes to give the McCord's as much privacy as he can for what he is sure to be a very much needed and private conversation.

Henry was used to Blake calling when Elizabeth was missing him. It always made Henry feel better knowing that Blake was with Elizabeth when she was away. He knew that Blake would keep her safe and taken care of. Both he and Elizabeth had talked about it many times at night when they were winding down after a long day. It was the time when they would discuss the kids and not long after Elizabeth took the job as Secretary of State, Blake. At first, he was unsure about his wife's reliance on another man besides him, until he met Blake and realized that it was more like having a fourth kid. Blake adored Elizabeth and took his job very seriously. When Elizabeth found out that Blake was bisexual and upon further investigation found that his parents had disowned him as a result, he couldn't understand how any parent could do that to there child. To refuse them even the basic of understanding.

~flashback—Dec. 20th one year as Secretary of State~

Blake Moran stood waiting patiently for the elevator to open. *Ding*

"Good Morning Ma'am, here is your coffee and one of those muffins you like from that place around the corner" said Blake to the Secretary. She looked up at him with a bright smile that lit up his insides and gave him such a feeling of pride.

"Good Morning Blake, how was your weekend? Any Holiday Plans?" Elizabeth fired off her questions as she walked to her office.

"my weekend was fine, finally finished that book you recommended about world policy and the effect on children. It really was a good book. And as far as Holiday plans, I will be going home for the holidays this year. My parents haven't called me back yet, but I'm sure they will soon to let me know what time they will be having family dinner." He said in a rush. He was so hoping that this year went better than the last few. His relationship with his parents had been strained since he was about 14 years old and first told his parents that he was bisexual. But he held out hope that this year would be different.

"Ok Blake, can you call the staff and have everyone meet in the conference room to go over the inducements for the Canadian project" the secretary said as she walked to her desk and began pulling out files from her briefcase.

"Right away, Madam Secretary. Would you like anything else?" he asked before leaving her office to do just as she asked. She looked up from her desk and smiled as she put her glasses on to read a report that had been left on her desk and said "No, thanks Blake, that will be all." He nodded and exited the office. Once he was back to his desk, he called the staff and everyone got to work.

Around lunchtime, it was clear that something was bothering Blake, but he continued working like normal. Elizabeth noticed he was lacking eye contact when he brought her lunch, but thought he was just distracted. At around 4pm, Elizabeth was ready to go home and begin her holiday. She was sure everyone else was ready for a whole 8 days off. She knew she was! She loved Christmas. It was her favorite time of year. She decided that now was as good of a stopping point as any and began packing up everything and decided to have Blake call her motorcade.

"Blake…" Elizabeth called.

"Yes, Ma'am…" Blake responded quietly as he walked in looking at the ground with his shoulders hunched over. "What can I get for you Madam Secretary…"

"Blake are you Ok?" Elizabeth asked worriedly after hearing his tone. As she looked up, she saw something that broke her heart. Blake was trying his level best to not cry. But she went straight into what Henry called her mom-mode. She got up an came around her desk just as his legs buckled and he fell to his knees dropped and lowered his head into his hands as the first sob broke from his throat. "Oh God, Blake…" she rushed to his side and placed her hand on his back as he sobbed and was at a loss as to what was going on. He was gasping for breath and was well and truly inconsolable. After she tried unsuccessfully multiple times to get him to calm and tell her what was wrong, she waked to her office door and asked Jay come to the office. Once he was in the outer office, he heard the sobbing and was immediately on alert.

When he walked into the office, the first thing he saw was the secretary in the floor. Then he saw Blake and was at a loss as to what to do. Then he hears his name again "Jay, can you help me get Blake to the couch and off of the floor?" Elizabeth asked as she continued to watch Blake and try to get him to breath and calm down. "Of course, Madam Secretary" said Jay as he got behind Blake and picked him bodily up from behind and helped walk/drag him to the couch. Once there he just sat there with his head in his hands. After about 10 minutes despite it feeling like hours, he got quiet and eerily calm. He just sat there staring straight a head and cried silently.

She walked back to the door and Jay followed. Elizabeth looked at Jay and said "Do you know what has got him this upset? Did someone die, or did something happen?" "No Ma'am" Jay said. "We were in the conference room working on inducements for Canada when his phone rang. He stepped away from the table and answered the phone. When he hung up, he didn't say anything he just got really still. That's when you called his name and he came in here."

"Ok, thanks Jay. I have no idea what is going on, but I think we are going to call it a night and Blake is coming home with me until I can figure out what the hell is going on. Can you please handle everything else for now, we are going to leave as soon as my motorcade is ready?" Elizabeth said in a worried tone. She still didn't know what was going on, but she would most definitely find out. Whatever had happened on that phone call had all but broken Blake and she would not stand for someone or something hurting her family. It was in that moment that Elizabeth stopped short. She realized that she didn't just see Blake as an employee, but like one of her kids. Like family. He decision was made then and there.

After she got her motorcade called, she went back to her office to check on Blake. He was still sitting stone silent and still. Like a hollow shell of himself. It was very troubling to say the least. She stepped over to her desk and called Henry. He would know what to do. He was always good at this kind of thing. With all of there kids, he was the one you went to with tears. Not that she was cold hearted or anything, it's just that she kept her emotions tighter than Henry did. He found matters of the heart more effortless that she did. It was just a fact.

As the phone dialed, she tried to think of a way to explain this situation to her husband. *ring…ring…ring...* "Hey babe, what's up? Are you going to be late tonight?" came the voice of her husband.

"Henry, I am not sure how to even begin…Blake is having some sort of crisis and I don't want him to be alone. I still haven't gotten him to tell me what has happened, but he collapsed in my office crying and I just don't know what to do other than to bring him home… "she rambled quickly at a loss of how to process.

"Babe, of course bring him home. You know how I feel about Blake. If he needs us, we are there. Always!" Henry said with feeling. God, she loved this man.

"Thanks Henry" Elizabeth breathes out in a huff. "We are going to be home soon. We are leaving now. I may need your help to get him into the house. He not quite responsive right now. I am hoping that I can get him out of here."

"Do you need me to come and help you with him?" asked Henry very concerned now. "Would you mind? I would feel better if you were here in case, he goes down again…" said Elizabeth biting her bottom lip. "Sure babe, I be there in about 15 minutes. Be ready…" said Henry already walking out of the door.

True to his word, 15 minutes later Henry walked into Elizabeth's office and spotted Blake on the couch with Elizabeth sitting next to him and him leaning on her shoulder with his eyes closed. But what was more concerning was the fact that even in sleep, he continued to cry. Tears were still seeping from his eyes. Elizabeth looked up at him with fear and hopeless ness that made him take a deep breath.

"Babe, has he said anything?" he asked her. She shook her head no and just ran her hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do…he is hurting so much and I just want to help him and make it stop" she whispers almost in tears herself. "We will help him babe. Let's get him home…" said henry as he bent down to help wake Blake.

Blake heard his name be called. But he was too miserable to care. What did it matter? He did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He was defective. Unnatural. An abomination. That was word his mother had used. A waste of college tuition and a stain on his family. "Don't bother coming home anymore. Stop calling us. We wash our hands of you. You are no longer welcome in our home. You gave up that right when you refused to turn away from the bisexual nonsense. Shame on you…" when his mother was done eviscerating him over the phone, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. So, he did what he did as a child. Took a deep breath and pretended that everything was fine. Until it wasn't.

Her voice did it. Her sweet, caring, understanding voice. It was everything he had wished in a mother. Everything he wished he had a teenager when he was being shipped off to as the church called it reprogramming camp. A four-week summer camp for kids who thought they were gay. It was where he learned the world is a very brutal and hateful place. Four weeks of beatings and scripture. He was never the same after that. Gone was the carefree boy who loved fashion replaced by a very tightly wound bundle of perfection. It was what made his parents happy. Its all he wanted was to make them happy. Madam Secretary was everything he wished his mother was. But he was not that lucky. His world spun on its axis and he just remembered falling then nothing. Until he heard her voice again. Then the embracement set in along with the guilt. He had failed to be perfect and now his boss was having to deal with him. He just needed to leave. Go home and end his sorry excuse of a life. It was too much.

"Blake…Blake come on, it's time to go…Blake… come on sweetie… you have to get up" Elizabeth said in a tone of voice she saved only for her children and when Henry was sick. It was a soothing sound. It finally got through. He blinked up at her and said "I'm so sorry…" he got up quickly and began to walk to his desk. Henry and Elizabeth followed him at a pace and waited to see what he was doing. He got his coat, turned off his computer and walked to the elevator. As Henry and Elizabeth watched him, they shared a look that said "This is worse than we thought". Once in the elevator Blake was still not making eye contact and it was Henry that noticed his phone. He saw Blake attempting to order an uber. He turned to Elizabeth and motioned with his eyes to Blakes phone. Elizabeth saw what was happening and was not going to have it. "Ok Blake, lets go…" she said as the doors of the elevator opened. "What ma'am, I am just going to take an uber and get home" he stuttered.

"No, Blake you are not. You are coming home with us no questions asked. You are not fine and I do not want you alone. If you resist, I will have Henry bodily throw you into my motorcade. Your choice…" she said with feeling. Another mom-mode tone that left one with no option other than that which she had stipulated. "Yes ma'am, but you really don't have to…" he trailed off as he finally made eye contact with both Elizabeth and Henry McCord. They were both having none of it. He sighed and began walking to the motorcade flanked by both of them. The ride was silent. Both Henry and Elizabeth knew the upcoming conversation would be long and hard. But for now, they would give Blake space to process.

Blake on the other hand was not sure what was happening. He was unfamiliar with caring parents or parental figures. What did they have is store for him? He knew what his parents would have done. Yelled and punished him for failing to do his job and for embarrassing them by breaking down. That was what he thought all parents were like until he had seen Elizabeth McCord with her children. Neither McCord ever belittled their kids or make them feel worthless. Even Stevie when she dropped out of school. They still loved and supported her. He was so confused in that moment that he didn't even hear Henry call Stevie and tell her an abridged version of events and ask her to take her siblings out and have a sleepover at Jareth's. He also didn't even realize they had pulled up to the secretary's brownstone either until Henry placed his hand on Blakes shoulder to get his attention.

As he walked into the home of his boss and her family, he didn't know what to do. So, he just stood there. Henry realizing his issue decided some male bonding was needed. He led Blake up the stairs to the master bedroom and led him to the bathroom. "alright buddy, take a shower and here are some clothes to put on after so your comfortable…" Henry said as he handed Blake a pair of clean boxers, pajama pants, and an old marine t-shirt. He even left a pair of socks just in case. Blake just turned to say thanks, but couldn't get words to work, so he just nodded. He let the water beat down over his body in an attempt to wash off his feelings. It didn't work. As he was getting dressed, he stopped before he put on the shirt and just stared at his reflection. He must have stood there for a while because Henry walked back into the bathroom and froze. What he saw was horrific. It was something you saw in pictures of war victims. It was heart breaking. Across Blakes bare back were lines of scars. Whip marks. Someone, some monster, had beaten this boy so badly that he had lash marks.

Blake jumped as he heard Dr. McCord's voice and quickly pulled on the shirt and turned around still not meeting his eyes. "Ugh…*cough*…Blake, I just wanted to let you know that Elizabeth and I are down stairs in the den when your ready to come talk. Ok?" said Henry. Blake clears his throat and says "Sure, be right down" like nothing was wrong. Henry half-smiled and then made a quick retreat. He had to tell Elizabeth. She would be devastated to know the type of pain he had endured, but it would help her to help him.

Down stairs, Elizabeth was still trying to wrap her head around what had happened. She had swiped his phone when Henry had led him upstairs. She knows that the last call was from his mother. But when she tried to call her back to see if she could get any information. The call had been blocked by the service provider. Which was odd. So, she had used her phone and had no issue and introduced her as Secretary McCord, her sons boss and was wondering if she could ask what had happened because Blake was severely upset but before she could finish she was informed that she must have the wrong number because she did not have a son named Blake and not to call back. This gave Elizabeth a bad feeling. It was made worse by Henry arriving back from checking on Blake. In almost 30 years of marriage, Elizabeth had only seen this facial express on Henry twice before. When he first told her about a nightmare following Desert Storm and when he came back from an NSA mission, she couldn't know the details about.

"Henry…what's wrong…are you ok?" she asked getting more concerned by the second. "Elizabeth…someone has beaten that boy. He has lash marks across his back. I don't know what happened today, but I know he has been carrying around pain for years. The marks on his back look 10 years old. He would have been a teenager! Its sickening!" he says with so much pain and anger it stops Elizabeth's breath for a second. "What?" she breaths. "No, that can't be right, that would have made him 15 years old. Who would have beat him like that?" she thought aloud.

"I was 16 actually…it was part of the reprogramming" Blake quietly said from the base of the stairs. They both turned to him with wide eyes. Both of them speechless. "My parents thought that I was damaged and the pastor of our church said that this summer camp would cure me of my disease of being gay. So, they sent me the summer after I turned 16. If you didn't follow the rules, you were beaten. If you didn't keep your area clean and tidy, you were beaten. Basically, they tried to beat the gay out of us. They closed down the camp a few years ago. But I was subjected to it for two summer until I turned 18 and was deemed cured. My parents were so proud they decided to allow me to go off to college. I did and it was then that I came out as bisexual…" he spoke with such a detachment that Elizabeth began to cry. She got up and wrapped him up in a hug as Henry just sat there with clinched fists. He knew places like this existed, but never saw the harm they caused up close.

As Elizabeth hugged Blake, he decided to let her comfort him. He let go of all his emotions and cried until he fell asleep in her arms. She looked over his head at Henry with a sad expression on her face and said "the call was from his Mom. I called her from his phone and the call was blocked. So, I used my phone and the woman said she didn't have a son. Henry this morning he was waiting to hear from his parents about plans for Christmas. I think that Bitch disowned him five days before Christmas…I mean who does that? To your own kid?" Henry had to agree. But then Elizabeth said in a quiet voice, "are we going to be enough to help him? He is so broken and fragile." Henry gave her a sad smile and said "we will give him the love his own family didn't. He's our son now." There was a determination in his voice that spoke volumes.

~end flashback~

Henry still worried about Elizabeth, but not to the extent he would if Blake was not around. After that first Christmas, Blake became a fixture around the McCord house. He would hang out with Stevie and have lively debates with her about a number of topics. He loved fashion as much if not more so than Alison, and could hold his own at Titan Fall with Jason.

After her much needed call with Henry, Elizabeth looked over to see Blake with his headphone still on and looking out the window giving her the most amount of privacy available to a person sharing a car with another person. She loved that about Blake. He was so considerate. It still made her so angry when she thought about how his own parents had treated him. But it was their loss. Before the campaign started, Elizabeth had told Blake that he was an honorary McCord in all but name. He had cried and hugged her so tight, she had trouble taking a breath. But she let him. She would not deny him physical comfort after she discovered that the reason Blake did not really handle touch very well was because he had never been given physical affection by his parents. They were aloof people and did not show their son how to give or receive physical touch. That had been a heartbreaking revelation…

~Flashback December 21s t~

Blake had been so worn out from emotions that he didn't wake up until the next morning around 9am. Henry and Elizabeth just left him on the couch with a blanket. Tonight, he could sleep in the guest room. When he woke up, he was disoriented and confused. Where was he? Then he remembered. He was so embarrassed. He had broken down on his boss and her husband had seen his back and then he had spilled his guts to them both about the camp. He was beginning to breath hard and panic was setting in. From the kitchen, Elizabeth had seen him stir and set up. Then she noticed how ridged he was sitting. She placed her hand on Henrys arm to get his attention. He looked at her then followed her eyes to Blake. "Good Morning Blake, would you like some breakfast?" asked Henry. Blake jumped up and spun around so fast he almost lost his balance. "No…no thank you Dr. McCord…I…I'm fine…I just need to find my clothes and get home…thank you so much for your hospitality. I appreciate it…" he was stuttering over his words and talking so fast it was a wonder he had not passed out yet from lack of air. Elizabeth got up and went to him. Led him to the table had had him sit down. "Blake…honey…you have to breath… ok? Just breath…deep breath….in…1,2,3…out…1,2,3. Ok, good job…" Elizabeth whispered again in that soothing mom tone. Once Blake was calmed down enough to actually speak without blacking out, he looked into her eyes and asked "Why are you being so nice to me? I'm not worth your energy. I am broken. You shouldn't be wasting your time on worrying about me. I'm not worth it…" he said with such conviction it broke her heart. He could have passed a polygraph he believed those words so much.

"Oh Blake" she said quietly. "how wrong you are…you are worth more than anything in the world. Do you think I would have brought you into my home if I thought you were not worth it? She asked. He just shook his head. In that moment, he appeared younger than his years 25 years. He looked at her and said "Can I ask you a question?" she looked at him confused and said "yeah, ask me anything…" It took a minute for him to decide how to word his request. Then he said so quietly that if she had not been as close to him as she was, she wouldn't have heard him "can I give you a hug? I'm not sure how to do it but I feel better when you hug me, so maybe it will be even better if I hug you... Is that wrong?" he looked up at her with big eyes and she studied him for a split second and then she realized. As did Henry who closed his eyes and bowed his head and said a silent prayer to God to please help them to help this boy. "Of Course," she said and then she said "there is no wrong way to hug a person, just wrap them up in your arms and send all your love to them. That's all it takes. It's never wrong to want or need a hug" she said with tears in her eyes. After that both Henry and Elizabeth made it a point to touch Blake in some form whether it be a hug, a pat on the back, a bicep squeeze, or even a pat on the hand.

~End Flashback~

Since that first Christmas though, Blake had blossomed into a very affectionate person. Gone was the young man afraid to touch and be touched. She reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked over at her and removed his headphones. She smiled and said "Thanks Blake, that was just what I needed." "anytime ma'am" said Blake with a smile of his own. Just then the DS agent from the front seat said "Ma'am we have an updated security threat assessment for the outdoor speech. We will be changing the schedule slightly."

"Ok Matt. Is the threat credible?" she asked.

"Not that we can tell. We will continue to investigate during your other engagement" Matt said from the front seat.

"Well, nothing like a little excitement…" Blake said with as much sarcasm as he could. Elizabeth snorted a laugh and grinned at him and shook her head. "you are so bad…" she said between giggles. "You like me that way ma'am" said Blake also while laughing.


	2. What makes a non-credible threat?

**AUTORS NOTE: **Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you all enjoy this update.

_**Ch. 2 **_

After a morning of reading picture books to very active children and getting more hugs than she knew what to do with, Elizabeth was in better spirts during lunch. She and Blake were just finishing lunch at a local restaurant when Matt, her lead DS agent, sat down at the table to go over her updated security measures for the outdoor playground opening that was next on her list of events for the day.

"ok ma'am, so, this is an aerial map of the park. You will be standing here with Mr. Moran to your right…" Matt went on to explain. As this went on Elizabeth listened and nodded when necessary. To be honest she usually tuned out these extensive safety briefings, despite what Henry thought. She just never understood the point. In the end if there was a security issue, she would be forcibly removed by her agents despite the situation or her wish to do anything different. So, she would sit through the briefing and half pay attention.

"So, ma'am if there is anything out of the ordinary, we will be able to have you to relative safety within 4 minutes. Do you have any questions?" said Matt in his all-business voice. "No Matt, I think we have this down by now. Has the threat assessment changed from this morning?" asked Elizabeth. "No ma'am" said Matt, "but we are still of the belief that the threat is not credible. There has been no new chatter and everything has gone quiet in regards to the earlier threat."

"Gee, that sounds ominous" stated Blake from the other side of the table. Sitting silently up to this point. He always took Elizabeth's safety more seriously that she herself did. Henry laughed saying he never worried about Elizabeth when Blake was around because he knew Blake worried about her just as much as he did. "So, why would silence make a threat less credible? Wouldn't it be more credible? I mean if I was going to do something nefarious, I wouldn't shout about it from the rooftops?" asked Blake sarcastically.

Elizabeth snorted a laugh at Matts facial reaction to Blakes questions. "Blake" she laughed, "Most security threats we deal with are crazy people who don't know how to be quiet. So, if a person says on Twitter, they plan to teach me a lesson or some other such non-sense, and they go quiet, then the threat is no longer a problem. But you are correct. This only is true for that kind of threat. Had it been a physical threat, that would mean silence is bad. But I do appreciate your concern." Elizabeth's words were meant to alleviate Blakes worries, but only served to remind him of the time he read the 'World in 2030 Report'. This briefing only served to make him more on edge.

As the day went on, the event at the park went off without a hitch. Elizabeth was in her element among the many parents and small children. She was always so open with fellow parents. Blake stood back as he watched her get into a deep conversation with a few mothers of very small humans, he guessed two or three. They were discussing potty training nightmares. 'what a strange conversation' Blake thought as he watched on. He wondered if his own mother ever discussed him with the same singular pride that Elizabeth spoke off all three of her children and their trials with pull-ups and mad dashes to the potty at inopportune times and places. His face must have taken on a lost look as he drifted through his mind and also lost track of time because the next thing he knows, Elizabeth has placed her hand on his arm and he jumps back to the present. As he looks up, he sees Elizabeth's concerned look and also that everyone is gone and it is quiet. Too quiet.

"Are you ok Blake?" asked Elizabeth in what he now recognizes as her mom voice. The same voice she started using those many years ago when she all but saved him. Saved his sanity and his life.

Blake shook himself and forced a smile "Of course. Just drifted off there for a minute. But I'm good."

Elizabeth did not believe that for a second. She led him to a park bench not far away. Once they were seated, she turned to him and leveled him with her 'I'm not buying what your selling look'. "Ok Blake, you know the drill. You know we are not leaving this park until you tell me what is bothering you" she said again in her mom tone. Blake sighed and looked up at the sky before closing his eyes and taking some deep breaths. A technique Elizabeth and Henry had taught him to starve off his panic attacks as well as a way to center himself. Elizabeth noticed the technique and knew that she was right and that he did need to talk about something. She and Henry had determined all those years ago that Blake was not a person who could be allowed to bottle up thoughts and emotions. He had to be made to talk even if he didn't want to. It was just too dangerous not to push him.

~~Flashback Dec. 22nd 1:30 am~~

Blake woke up in the McCord's guest room. He was confused at first as he didn't know where he was. Then it all hit him at once, he was alone. He should have told them. He knew he should have just left. It would be so much simpler. He mother was right. He should make it easy on everyone and just disappear. He knew what to do. But he didn't want to hurt Elizabeth and Henry. They would not want their kids exposed to him. That's why they were staying with Jared and Stevie. He knew they were just too good of people to say that out loud. So, he got to work. Hey grabbed his laptop out of his bag by the closet door. And he began to type. He wanted them to know. He had to let them know it wasn't them. They were the only bright spot in his otherwise dark world.

~~3:30am~~

Elizabeth woke with a start. She sat up sharply waking Henry. "Babe what's wrong" Henry sleepily asked. "I don't know, but something is wrong. Very wrong!" said Elizabeth already getting out of bed. It had been years since she had this type of breath stopping, stomach turning, deep dread. The last time had been when Stevie had snuck out and wrecked her car in a ditch down the road from the house. She grabbed her robe as Henry got up and looked at her. "Elizabeth, is this one of those mother intuition moments?" Henry asked hesitantly.

Elizabeth stopped her nervous walking of the room and looked at him with a horrified expression. The next second she was out of the room running to the guest room. What she found would haunt her for the rest of her days. Blake, sitting at the end of the bed, not moving, with a tie around his neck securing him to the end of the iron foot board. It took maybe five seconds to process before she screamed for Henry as she was rushing to Blake. When Henry got to the room, she was trying to get the knot loose enough to get him laying down. Henry was faster with a pair of scissors from the bathroom. As he cut the tie, he noticed that Blakes lips were blue and that he did not feel a pulse.

After Henry got the tie cut, he pulled Blake by his feet so he was laying down and began CPR. "Elizabeth, call 911" henry said. After a minute, she hung up the phone and told Henry that they were on the way. Not 10 minutes later did the EMT's enter followed by DS. The paramedic took over compressions and the EMT began asking questions while he placed a mask over Blakes mouth to help him breath. The EMT told the paramedic that he was having trouble bagging him. They switched places and the paramedic turned to the McCord's and said "he has crushed his trachea. I'm going to need to intubate him to secure his airway. Are you his next of kin? They both stated firmly "Yes".

Elizabeth watched with tears in her eyes while Henry held her as the paramedic put a tube down Blakes throat. While he was doing that, the EMT had cut off Blakes shirt and had place pads on his chest. The AED Elizabeth recognized from an office worship a few months back. As the machine worked it told them to shock Blake and as the electricity coursed through his body the first tears fell down Elizabeth's cheeks and Henry held her closer. They were both thinking the same thing. They may just watch their son die. After 10 minutes that felt like eternity, the paramedic said that they got him back. They put a neck brace on him as a precaution and put him on a backboard. As they were about to leave the room to follow, Henry saw a stack of envelopes. As he walked to the desk, he saw five neatly labeled letters written in Blakes very precise block lettering. Matt, Daisy, Jay, Henry, Elizabeth. It hit him then. It was real. Blake had every intention of dying tonight. He grabbed up the letters as he and Elizabeth went to follow Blake to the ER. In the SUV on the way, Elizabeth turned to Henry and said "He can never be left alone with his feeling again. This is partly our fault. We both knew he needed to talk. We will have to push him from now on." Henry looked in her eyes and said "yes, your right." After a moment, Henry spoke in a whisper quite voice "he wrote letters". As Elizabeth turned back to him as he spoke another bit of her heart broke.

"let me see" she told Henry in an equally soft voice.

~~end flashback~~

After a few minutes Blake began talking. He was still avoiding eye contact, but that was fine. Elizabeth didn't need him to look at her, just talk to her. "I was thinking about how much you light up around other mothers and their kids" Blake said. Then shook his head and laughed "You were able to hold a two-hour conversation about potty training." Elizabeth smiled at this and said "Well, when you're a mother, you take pride in the little things that seem so important at the time." Blake sighed and turned to look at her with sad eyes. It was then that Elizabeth had a good idea what the problem was, but needed to let Blake express it himself. "I was wondering if my mother ever thought about me that way. If she ever talked about me with such pride. If I ever made her face light up the way yours do when you talk about Stevie, Ali, and Jason. It's stupid I know, but my mind just wondered there without my permission. I have been trying to do as Dr. Sherman told me and to not focus on the past, but the present and the future, but sometimes its really hard to do that." He had started off quietly but gradually got louder as he went. By the end he was in a normal tone of voice.

"Oh Blake, do you need a hug?" Elizabeth asked and was heartened when he nodded his head yes and leaned over toward her. She rapped him in her arms and said to him in that mom tone he loved so much "she may not have, but sweetheart, I do. You will forever be more my son that you were hers. She did not and does not know what a gift she tossed out. But I have always been of the opinion that one person's discard can be another person's treasure; and that is what you are Blake Moran, you are treasured and adored. Me and Henry and Stevie, Ali, and Jason; we love you and you will never have to wonder or worry about being important. I may not know about your pitfalls with potty training or any of your formative years, but I know how proud I am of you for everything else which is just as important." Blake just held her tighter and sighed. He realized her really was loved and safe. "I love you too Elizabeth" Blake whispered near her ear. As he pulled away, he wiped his lingering tears and cleared his throat. "So, ma'am it's time we go back to the hotel so you can get ready for your donor dinner" Blake said in his no-non-sense assistant voice. But he did at least do it with a smile that Elizabeth returned easily.

"Ugh…are you sure you don't have any more issues to work out, I would love to stay in this park longer" Elizabeth quipped as she got up from the bench. All of a sudden there was an extremely loud bang followed by a tree branch breaking. Blake and Elizabeth both turned to the sound just as Blake saw a guy with a gun and in one fluid motion yanked Elizabeth behind him as another shot was fired and Blake felt a punch in his chest that had a white-hot burn behind it. He stumbled back against Elizabeth just as DS took out the shooter and Elizabeth did everything, she could to slow his descent to the ground. When he was down, he looked at his chest to see a red spot growing on his white button up shirt in fascination. Elizabeth however was screaming for a medic as DS swooped in to secure them both. From his spot on the ground Blake was looking up at Elizabeth who in that moment looked down into his eyes and he was struck by how blue they are. Elizabeth had just pressed something onto his chest hard and his world faded to black.


	3. Time stands still

Ch. 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Sorry it took so long to update. My internet connection was having an identity crisis. But all is well now. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. I am going to try to have chapter 4 up by next Saturday.

"Ma'am we have to get you out of the open, there could be other shooters" said Matt. Elizabeth was trying desperately to get Blake to open his eyes. He was losing so much blood. Just as she was about to tell Matt to fuck off and secure her here to wait for the paramedics, Blake shuddered and couched. A fine red mist sprayed all over Elizabeth's chest and arms painting her white shirt. Before she could panic about that, she noticed that his eyes were open wide in fear and pain.

"hey…Blake, baby don't try to move ok. We are going to get you some help. Just hang on and keep your eyes open" Elizabeth choked out through she refused to cry. She was still holding pressure to his chest and knew he was hurting. He tried to move and she held him in place and saw his lips moving. "baby what are you trying to say?" she leaned down to hear what he was trying to say and the words he spoke were her undoing.

"I love you. Thanks for being my Mom" sputtered Blake as more blood spilled from his mouth causing him to choke and cough.

"Oh, baby I love you too. I am so lucky to be able to be your mom; you are going to be fine. You hang on…you hear me, you hang on" Elizabeth said through her tears as she watched his eyes fall shut again. She was just about inconsolable as Matt pulled her back to get her to move.

"Ma'am we have to move. Now!" said Matt in a very loud voice.

"I am not leaving him. Do you hear me! I am not leaving him!" screamed Elizabeth. "So, you need to get the car to me. We can't move him" Elizabeth told Matt in a commanding voice. Matt looked like he was going to argue but once he looked at her face, he pulled his radio out and called the armored SUV to drive to their location.

"I got Ladybug and Cricket, prepare to evac from my location" said Matt and turned to Elizabeth to help her prepare as much as possible to move Blake. Once the car pulled up Matt and another DS agent Elizabeth couldn't remember the name of grabbed Blake and another agent grabbed her and both were placed in the car.

"Where is the nearest hospital? He needs a hospital now…" asked Elizabeth from the back of the SUV while holding Blake half on her lap still holding pressure.

"We are currently not near any hospitals who can handle Blakes injuries, so we are going to drive a little further to the level one trauma center in Memphis, TN. Its only 8 minutes out of our way to just go there. We have a full police escort. We will get there as fast as possible" said Matt in what he had hoped was a confident voice. He was worried about the kid. He was losing a lot of blood and had not even flinched when he and Stephen had none to gently moved him from the ground to the SUV. Matt had seen fellow soldiers with wounds like Blakes not make it to the medic tents. As he watched his boss, he was at a loss. She was barely holding herself together. He knew what he had to do and was not looking forward to it. Dr. McCord was going to kill him. As he pulled out his secure cell, he took a deep breath and dialed the number.

"Hello, what's up Matt?" said Henry only slightly nervous as to why Matt was calling him, but dismissed it as he knew if something was wrong with Elizabeth, Blake would be the first to call him.

Matt knew he had to do this very clear and concise so he began, "Dr. McCord, there has been an incident. The Secretary is fine. She was not injured, but Mr. Moran was not as lucky. After the park dedication this afternoon, both the Secretary and Mr. Moran were talking on a park bench and a man began shooting. Mr. Moran pulled the Secretary behind him, placing himself between her and the shooter. We took out the shooter, but not before he got off another shot which hit Mr. Moran in the chest. We are on route to Regional One hospital in Memphis, TN. I thought you would want to know and also, as soon as I hang up with you, I will be contacting your detail. They will be getting you to the airport so that you can get to Memphis. She is going to need you."

"Oh my God. Is Blake ok? Was Elizabeth hurt at all? Why are you going to Memphis, I thought you were in Oakland, TN?" Henry was already rushing up the stairs to pack. He had to get to his son. He briefly thought back to rushing to the hospital with Blake before all those years ago. There boy was a fighter. He would be ok. He had to be. "ok, Matt. I will be ready to go in about 10 minutes. Take care of them and let Elizabeth know that you spoke to me and that I love her and I will be with her soon. Thanks for calling and taking care of my family" said henry.

"Of course, Dr. McCord. The Detail will be ready. Safe travels" said Matt equally thankful. He knew it was a bad idea, but Matt was rather fond of all the McCords and had been unable to keep a professional distance. They had a habit of not allowing their agents to maintain a distance.

~~Flashback December 22nd 4:45am ~~

"Mr. and Mrs. McCord?" said a nameless doctor into the waiting room. They both jerked their heads up at the sound.

"Yes, that's us. How is Blake? Is he ok?" Elizabeth asked quickly.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Montgomery. Mr. Moran is not awake yet as we had to sedate him. He sustained a very serious injury to his larynx. Because of this, he can't move his head or neck. His throat as swollen shut, but since the paramedic intubated him on scene, we did not have to but in a trach. But that also means he has to stay on the ventilator until the swelling goes down." Elizabeth grabbed Henrys hand and squeezed. Her baby couldn't breathe without a machine. "Now, we did a CT to check for any brain damage and were able to determine that while his attempt at self-harm was effective in damaging his throat, he actually failed at cutting off blood flow to his brain. So, he should make a full physical recovery. Now, as far as a mental recovery, that will be up to the psychiatrist assigned to Blake once he is in a better place physically" said Dr. Montgomery with a small smile. Elizabeth let out a breath and a sob all in one.

"Can we see him. We don't want him to be alone. That was our mistake that caused this" said Henry guiltily. He was just so happy that Blake was going to be ok. He knew they would get him through this.

Dr. Montgomery nodded, "of course. In just a moment. They are currently moving him to a room that your DS agents have approved. Now, I see that you have listed yourself as his next of kin, so since he is being placed on a psych hold until he is deemed no longer a danger to himself, he will be unable to make any medical decisions. Are you both ok with acting as his medical proxies? If not, the hospital will assign him a medical guardian."

"Yes, we will be his proxies. We also have a therapist we would like to consult with as far as treatment. I will call her in the morning and see if she is willing to take on Blake as a patient" said Elizabeth once she was under control.

"Ok great. The nurse will take you to his room" said Dr. Montgomery as a nurse walked into the waiting room.

"Ill take you to Mr. Moran's room now" said the nurse.

"Thank you" said Henry as he grabbed Elizabeth's hand and they walked to Blakes room. He turned to Elizabeth once they stepped into the room and saw Blake just laying there, "we will fix this. He will never feel this way again."

"no, he will never feel unloved or unwanted again" said Elizabeth just as strongly.

~~End flashback~~

The drive to Regional One did not take as long as Elizabeth thought it would. As they pulled up to the ambulance area, a whole trauma team was waiting with a stretcher. Blake was taken from her arms and was rushed inside. As they took Blake she felt suddenly lost and a sadness overtook her. She just stared as the doors to the trauma area closed. She turned when Matt placed a hand on her arm to guide her to the waiting area which happened to have a window that allowed her to see everything that was being done to Blake.

"Sorry ma'am we can't secure the waiting area, so the hospital administrator set this viewing room aside for us to wait" Matt explained as he led her to a seat.

Once she was seated, she turned to Matt to tell him she needed to call Henry, but he spoke before she could, "Dr. McCord is non a plane as we speak on his way to Memphis International Airport. His plane should land in a few hours. I have 4 DS agents meeting him there to bring him here."

"Thanks Matt, for everything" Elizabeth was saying but was cut off as the alarms began to go off in the Trauma room and the many doctors and nurses began to yell out orders and other words she could not make out or understand. All she knew for sure was that the things she was watching be done to Blake were almost worse than seeing him shot. She watched as two nursed drilled needles into his shin bones and hooked up IV's to them. She watched as they cut his side and shoved another tube into the side of his chest. Another person started CPR while another put a tube down his throat and began to breath for him. But the absolute worst thing was seeing his heart monitor go flat. She knew what that meant. Her baby had just died. She was almost consumed by the pain and anguish of that thought as she watched him jerk up hard once, twice, then three times. Then all was still. Elizabeth thought they had stopped, when she blinked and they were moving the bed. He had a heartbeat again. She shakily sat back down, not realizing she had got up and moved inches from the window.

Not known for being overly religious. She began to pray. "God, please help my baby. I know I didn't give birth to him, but I know you had a hand in bringing him to me. Please don't take him yet. Let me get a chance to love him. He has had too hard a life for him to die saving mine. Please…please."

She had no idea how long she had sat there just praying and thinking about Blake that she jumped when she heard the door open. When she looked up, she was so happy to see Henry. Henry of course was terrified. When she turned to see him, she was covered in blood. It was on her shirt, her arms, her pants, her hands, and even on her face. There was not really a part of her not covered in blood. "Babe, are you Ok? My God you are covered in blood!" said Henry rather tactlessly. The words were out of his mouth before he could really engage his brain. Elizabeth for the first time looked down at her self and her hands and in that moment began to really breakdown.

"Henry…" was all she was able to say before he had her in his arms. At some point her legs gave out and he led them to a seat and she just continued to cry. He held her as she did. What else could he really say or do. He just held her and whispered sweet nothings and little encouragements in her ear until she calmed. "Henry, he saved me. He pulled me behind him. It's his blood, my baby's blood. If he dies, I don't know if I can handle that. Why would God take him from us?" she rambled and Henry just pulled her tighter. He had no answers to her questions and knew that she wasn't really looking for an answer.

"Have they said anything about how he is?" asked henry in a soft voice.

"No, his heart stopped Henry and they had to shock him three times. Then they took him. I'm assuming surgery. The bullet had to have punctured his lung because he was coughing up blood in the car. Henry I am so scared. What if he dies? I love him so much. I just hope he knows how much." Elizabeth tells Henry without emotion. She is beginning to shut down.

"oh, Lizzie, of course he knows you love him. He has told you as much today. Blake doesn't seem like the person to step in front of a madman with a gun for just anyone…He will be ok; you know he is a fighter. We saw that all those years ago. He came back from that, he will come back from this. But he is in the best place for him to get better. I did some research on the plane to pass the time. This is the best hospital in the tri state area. You know Morgan Freeman was airlifted here after that car accident back in 2008." Henry told her trying to give her some comfort. He was desperate to comfort her. He had always hated to see his Lizzie cry.

She laughed, "well if its good enough for Morgan Freeman, then it must be fabulous." She tucked herself into his chest and they both just sat in silence. Until she broke it with a whispered "he called me Mom. He told me thanks for being his mom."

Henry let a tear fall at that. Just as he was about to respond to her, a Doctor entered the area they were waiting. "Hello, Secretary McCord, my name is Dr. Doran. I was Mr. Moran's Cardiovascular Surgeon. First and foremost, Mr. Moran is stable. We were able to remove the bullet. As you are both listed as next of kin, I was going to give you an in-depth report of his overall condition if that would be ok?" at their nods of consent, he led them to chairs and sat down himself. "ok, so when Mr. Moran." he was cut off by Elizabeth asking "Can you please call him Blake?" the doctor responded with "Ok, sure, when Blake was brought in, he had gone into what is know as hypovolemic shock. Which basically means that he had lost so much blood that his body had no chance to make it up in order to sustain life so his veins began to collapse. So, we placed two interosseous lines…" Elizabeth interrupted again asking "Is that what was drilled into his bones?" the doctor nodded and continued "yes, it's the best way to get fluids into the body quickly and easily. Once we got his veins opened back up, we were able to put in a central line into his carotid artery. We also placed a chest tube to help remove the build up of blood in his chest that was keeping his heart from being able to beat. His heart stopped in the trauma room and we got him back here but he coded twice more in surgery. We had to give him over 6 units of blood. The bullet did major damage to his pulmonary artery. That supplies the blood from the heart with oxygen. One thing I did notice though is rather interesting. Did you know Blake had a congenital heart defect?" the doctor looked at both McCords.

"No, we didn't. I don't think he did either. I have seen his entire medical record. There was nothing about a heart problem." Said Elizabeth confused. "Why would it be interesting?" she asked the Doctor. Henry was just as confused. He too looked to the doctor wanting to know that answer as well.

The doctor turned his head to the side before he began again, "Well its interesting because if what you say is true and he didn't know, had he not been shot today, he would have had a very high likely hood of a sudden cardiac death. Its when the heart just stops beating. Most people, around 98% of cases end in death. There would have been no way to get him help in time. I'm a doctor and not really one to believe things happening for a reason, but… well I'll leave it at that. Blake will be moved to recovery in the next 20-30 minutes and then you can both see him. Also, Madam Secretary, I have one of my interns waiting outside to show you to the faculty showers so you can get cleaned up and to get you some scrubs to change into." As he got up to walk out of the room, he turned to them both of them. "you have one hell of a fighter in that boy. I suggest you get some rest; you are going to need it because he is going to need you both." With that the doctor left and a young woman about Stevie's age came in.

"Um…Madam Secretary?" she stuttered. "Dr. Doran said for me to take you to the showers and to get you some clothes" she said anxiously.

Elizabeth was so relieved about Blake that the fact that this young girl seemed terrified of her was absolutely hilarious. She began to laugh and cry at the same time. Henry saw this happening and then saw the look on the poor medical students face and took pity on her.

"um, could you give us just a minute please." Henry asked the intern.

"yeah, sure…" she said quickly and fled the room.

Henry turned to Elizabeth who was trying unsuccessfully to stop her giggles and tears. He knew she was not sorry at all and he himself began to laugh too. After both had given themselves stomach pains from laughing so hard. He pulled her into his chest and said "Our boy is ok. Can you believe what the doctor said? I guess that answers your question from earlier." Henry told Elizabeth by way of the top of her head.

Getting herself under control she looked up at Henry confused, "what question?"

"earlier you asked why would God do this, well it looks like he had a good reason." Henry whispered reverently.

"yeah, I guess he did." Elizbeth responded just as soft and sent up a silent thank you to God. She may not do the whole church thing, but she knew someone called the shots. She just hopped he wouldn't be calling anymore in regards to her family for a least a little while. "Ok, babe I'm going to go take a shower and then we are gonna go see our boy. Ill be back, make sure to call the kids and give them an update. I'm sure they are beside themselves. Blake is like a big brother to all of them."

"Ok babe, love you." Henry said already pulling out his phone.

"Love you too." Replied Elizabeth as she opened the door to find the still scared to death intern waiting for her. She looked to the intern who just swallowed reflexively, "Ok, first off, you know I don't bite right?" Elizabeth giggled. "My name is Elizabeth" she said holding out her hand to the intern. "What's your name?"

Smiling the intern took her hand and said "Suzie. Sorry, people of authority make me nervous." She laughed nervously. "I'm sorry about your friend. But Dr. Doran is the best cardo surgeon around." She commented to try to fill the silence of the walk.

Elizabeth smiled at her attempt at making small talk. Once they got to the shower area, Suzie went to a locker and opened it up and got out a toiletry bag and turned back to Elizabeth.

"So, here is some shampoo and soap for you to use. Just leave it here in front of my locker when you done. I can give you hospital soaps if you want, but between me and you they really suck as far as getting you clean." She said as she then walked to a cart on the far wall and said over her shoulder to Elizabeth, "So you look like you wear a size 4 or maybe a 6, so ill give you a small and a medium and you can see which you want." She walked back with two sets of scrubs. "there are shoes in that closet, just find you size. If you need anything, I'll be in the common area we passed getting here." She turned to leave but stopped when Elizabeth called her name.

"you don't have to wait on me. Thanks, by the way for the toiletries." Elizabeth said warmly.

Suzie smiled "that's ok, Dr. Doran didn't want you to be alone. So, I have been assigned to Mr. Moran so that once you are finished, we will go back and get your husband then we can all do see Mr. Moran. Also, because navigating all the medical jargon is not easy, I will be acting as your personal translator."

They both laughed and then went their separate ways.


	4. All roads lead to Memphis

Ch. 4

AUTHORS NOTE: So, I know it's been a while since I updated, but I had a bad case of writer's block, plus been a little anemic and just tired. Also, as this is my first every story, I kind of wrote myself into a corner.

Silence. As she stood under the hot water, she allowed the silence to swallow her up. She just stood there. Down the hall Henry was waiting for her, but felt off. He had wanted to go with her, but thought at the time that she needed some space. Now, though, he felt he was wrong. As he walked out into the hallway, he saw an elderly nurse at a desk.

"excuse me, my wife just left to get cleaned up, but I need to speak to her. Can you point me in the right direction?"

The nurse smiled up to him with a knowing look, "Your wife that pretty blond?"

Henry blushed for reasons he didn't understand. "Yes Ma'am."

"Well it's about time. I was wondering when you would figure out, she needed you." She shook her head as she spoke in a heavy southern accent. "Men, young and old! I swear to God they are either saying somethin' stupid, or doin' somethin' stupid!" she laughed up at Henry. "I mean no offence. My name is Gretta. I have six children, all boys. Them plus my Ronnie. I feel I have a PHD on the male species. When your woman came out of that room I knew if you didn't go after her in about half an hour, I was gonna have to come and grab your ear and drag you to her." She told Henry directly.

Henry just stared at her. She reminded him of his own mother. She was about his mother's age. He smiled at her and said "I guess I have to take your word for it. Thank you. Everyone here has been so great about making sure both my son and my wife are taken care of. I'm not really used to being treated this way. Is it a southern thing?"

Gretta laughed "it may be a southern thing, I don't know. I've never left the south to find out. Born and raised here in Memphis/Bartlett area. Never left. Never wanted to (She shrugged). All my boys have though. They spread out all over the place."

Henry replied "I have four. Two girls and two boys." His voice caught when he said boys. It was not lost on Gretta.

Gretta patted his shoulder and said in a low voice "I know you feel helpless now. But just know that you will not be that way for long. Your boy is a fighter. I can tell. They told me my Charlie wouldn't survive after he was born. But he did. Every day I would wake up and he was still here. That is the power of God. All of my boys. They are my proof of God's grace. It may not give you much solace now, but know it will later." She turned to him as they got to a door. "You are gonna have to be the strong one. I could tell when your wife came in that she was holding on by the skin of her teeth. You let her breakdown. If you need to you can always come find me. I will be here for the next twelve hours."

Henry was touched. He reached out and gave Gretta a hug and whispered "Thank you so much." She smiled and rubbed his back. After about five minutes, he let go of her. She cupped his face and looked into his eyes, and said "You are a strong man. You are what she needs. You are her rock. Don't let her forget that." Then she was gone. Henry was filled with a determination he forgot he had. He then wasted no time opening the door.

Susie raised her head from the textbook she was reading. She then jumped up. "Dr. McCord. I'm sorry did you need something…" she nervously asked.

He smiled at her and said "Please call me Henry and no, I was just going to check on Elizabeth."

Susie smiled back and pointed in the direction of the showers. He nodded his head and said "Thanks."

"my wife has not eaten since noon. Is there any way you can get her something to eat? We will stay here until you come back." Henry told the young woman.

"Sure Sir. Any food allergies?" she asked. He replied no, just no tuna.

As she left, he walked into the shower room and saw her sitting in the shower with her knees drawn up. She had shut down. Henry stripped down and got in the shower with her.

"Babe…come on stand up for me" he said softly. As she stood up with his help, he sent a silent thanks to God she was at least responding to commands. "alright babe. Let's get you clean" henry then proceeded to have a one-sided conversation with Elizabeth ash he cleaned her body of blood and dirt. For her part, Elizabeth just stood there with her eyes closed. When he finished getting all the blood off, he helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in two towels and sat her down on the bench as he got dried off and dressed again. He then began drying off his wife. Her eyes were open but she was not really present.

"babe, raise your arms. Good, now pick up you left foot, now you right. Ok, now stand up for me. Ok, now you can sit back down. As he was putting her socks on, she finally looked at him and smiled. "thank you, Henry, for always taking care of me." He looks at her in the eye and says "Always and anywhere." Then he put on her a pair of tennis shoes and tied the laces.

"Ok, I heard Susie get back a minute ago. She has you some food and after you eat, we can go see Blake." Henry said and then cut her off as she went to say she wasn't hungry. "No, you will eat. Doctors' orders." They both grinned. She replied "You're not that kind of doctor…but fine."

Henry knew after 30 years of marriage to just take the win. He led her to the next room where Susie had brought two dinner trays.

Susie saw them come in the room. "You look much better Madam Secretary. Dr. McCord had me get you some dinner and I figured Dr. McCord would also need dinner so, I brought him some too. This isn't what the patients get, it's a little better. If you want something else, I'm sure I can get that…" she was nervously rambling. Elizabeth smiled over to Henry who smiled back. she walked over to the young woman who was still rambling about cafeteria hours. She stopped her by wrapping her in a hug and said "Thanks Susie. It's perfect. Thanks for all your help. Now, from my understanding, we are going to be spending a lot of time together, so please I am Elizabeth and this (pointing to the right) is Henry.

Susie took a deep breath and let it out fast. "Ok. Elizabeth." They both smiled. Susie then watched as they sat down to eat and took up her spot back on the couch with her textbook.

When they were finished eating, Susie walked them to a set of heavy doors that said SICU. Henry turned to Susie and asked what the SICU stood for. She told him it was the surgical intensive care unit. That Blake would stay here until he could be safely moved to the CCU or the Cardiac Care Unit. She went on to say that unlike the standard areas, where one nurse has between three and eight patients; in the SICU's and the CCU's every patient has his/her own nurse who is assigned to them. As they walked into the unit, the lights were low. Susie explained that they keep the lights dim at night to help with not throwing off the patients Circadian Rhythm or their sleep cycle. She went on to explain that the Circadian Rhythm influences body temperature and other important bodily functions such as the production of blood cells and fighting infection. Both Elizabeth and Henry listened intently as Susie explained everything to them before they really had to ask for clarification. As they got to the last glass cubical whose doors were flanked by two DS agents, Elizabeth realized that she had lost track of Matt. And that never happened. She turned around and sure enough, there he was about six steps behind her. She smiled at him and let go of Henrys hand. she walked up to Matt and pulled him into a tight hug that he returned. He then cleared his throat and pushed her back gently. No words were needed. It was understood.

Henry watched this happen and smiled to himself. His Lizzie had always had the ability to disarm even the roughest, toughest of people. As she came back to his side, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. When they entered Blakes room, they saw him just lying there. Just like all those years ago, except so much worse. He was ghost white. He had tubes and lines and wires coming from everywhere.

Elizabeth just held his hand tighter and whispered "oh, my baby…" Henry could do nothing but silently agree.

**Flashback December 22nd 5am**

As they walked into his room, both Elizabeth and Henry were struck by how small he looked in the bed. He was so still and had the tube coming out of his mouth and the mechanical sound of the respirator breathing for him. It was heartbreaking. As Elizabeth walked over to his left side and grabbed his hand, Henry did the same on the right side. They both sat in silence just holding his hand.

The next day at about 6pm, the doctors decided to ease the sedation. It was almost midnight when Blake began to fight the respirator. Once his eyes were open, Elizabeth spoke to him to calm him while Henry went to get the nurse. It felt like an eternity before they had the tube removed and had him sitting up. He was still breathing hard, so they left him with a nasal canula. The day before had seen both Henry and Elizabeth contact Dr. Sherman who agreed to take Blakes case. She told them to call her day or night whenever Blake was extubated. So, as Elizabeth sat with Blake, Henry went to call her. Blake was not making eye contact but, knew he would have to face the music. She turned to Elizabeth and saw the pain he had caused, and as a tear fell, he rasped "I'm so sorry. I didn't think anyone would miss me. But I can see now that that's not true."

Dr. Sherman had just walked back into the room with Henry and said "That's good. We can work with that. Hi, my name is Dr. Kinsey Sherman. Now a few things Mr. Moran. First, you have been placed on a mandatory 72-hour psych hold. That means that for the next 72 hours you cannot for any reason leave this room or be left alone for any reason. Now, can I assume you have no problem with Henry and Elizabeth being a part of this process?" Blake just shook his head and held Elizabeth's hand tighter. "Ok, that's wonderful. Next, you are now my patient. Over the next three days, we will be taking a lot. Do you agree with me being your therapist?" again, Blake just nodded. "Ok, perfect. Now, Blake, Henry and Elizabeth have given me an overview of the circumstances that have led us here today. So, now that we are all on the same page, I am going to have Elizabeth and Henry say their goodbyes. They can come and see you the day after Christmas to pick you up. ok. Now as its almost 1:30 am, would you like something to help you sleep?" asked Dr. Sherman.

Blake liked her. She was no nonscience. She was warm and kind. So, he looked at Elizabeth who smiled at him and then at Henry who did the same and answered in a clear voice "Yes please."

Dr. Sherman smiled at the young man. This was going to go easy. She stood back as first Henry and then Elizabeth gave Blake hugs and told him how much they loved him. Then watched as the sedative took effect and Blake went into a peaceful sleep.

Once in the hallway. Elizabeth gave Kinsey a hug and said "Thanks for helping. We will get you whatever you need. Just let us know what it is." Henry was behind her agreeing with everything she said.

"Well, to be honest. You are what I am going to need. For the next three days, I am going to force him to confront all of his pent-up trauma. But from you I will need the understanding that once he is released, that he not be alone. It will be a while before I am comfortable with him being alone. Are you both up for that?" asked Dr. Sherman. Both Henry and Elizabeth said "Yes" together. "Well" said Dr. Sherman, "that is all he and I will need. From this point forward, he will have to be forced to talk to one of you. He can't be allowed to internalize. I have worked with more of these young people than I care to admit, the trauma is worse than what you experienced in Iraq and worse that Desert Strom for you Henry. Rather than have an event haunting him, he is the event. His existence is haunting him. I don't usually judge people, but the parents who subject these kids to this kind of abuse should be lined up and shot. Its horrific. But anyway, I will see you both on the 26th."

Both Henry and Elizabeth said their goodbyes to Dr. Sherman and went home. When they got home, they noticed the lights were still on. Once inside, they found out why. All three kids were passed out on the couch together. Stevie stirred first.

"Oh, my God how is Blake?" she quickly asked once she noticed her parents.

They both smiled sadly. Elizabeth responded, "He's going to be Ok, but he is going to need us."

The other two kids awoke to Elizabeth's response. Jason was the first to say anything.

"Well of course he has us. He's like this cool older brother. I like Blake, he's awesome. Is he going to be staying with us now?" asked Jason. Allison followed up by saying "Yeah, I never really thought about it before, but he is like an older brother. When he comes to get you clothes sometimes, we would talk about the latest trends and fashion. I really like Blake. And I'm glad he is going to be ok and that he has us to help him."

Elizabeth and Henry both said silent prayers of thanks to God for giving them these three amazing humans. Elizabeth told the kids that yes, Blake was going to be ok, and that he would be staying with them for the foreseeable future. That he was going to be moving in the day after Christmas.

**end flashback**

Henry and Elizabeth slowly approached the bed and Susie began to explain all of the equipment and what if was for. She explained that he was on the respirator which was breathing for him, not because he could not breath for himself, but because this would help the body to heal faster not having to worry about breathing. It meant his body would have more energy for other things like producing clotting factors that would help heal the internal injuries. Next, was the tube in the side of his chest. She explained it was a chest tube and that even though the surgeon repaired the internal damage, the ooze of blood was still draining and to keep it from building up like before and stopping his heart, they would leave the tube in until it no longer drained. Then she explained the IV lines and the Blood transfusion machine known as a cell saver. That while during surgery, as they were giving Blake blood, he was constantly losing it, so it was having to be replaced again. Then she explained the heart monitor and that the normal range was between 60 and 100 beats per minute and that Blakes was at 72 which was very good. Then she showed them the O2 saturation reading which was one of the things they were worried about. She went on to say that with Blake being on a respirator, he O2 sat should be between 98 and 100, but it was holding at 91. It was due to the damage to his pulmonary artery and they would keep him on the vent until it came up to 98 or higher.

"Ok, guys. I would suggest that you both call it a night. He is stable. I will be staying here with him. I believe your security is also staying. I would suggest you both go to the Hotel. I will call you personally if there is any change. And I do mean ANY change." Said Susie.

While neither one wanted to leave, they both knew they needed to. So, they agreed. After thanking Susie again, they began the long walk back to the entrance. Elizabeth was so tired that once inside the SUV she leaned over to Henry and fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. Henry could not fault her and just sat in the SUV while they drove to the streets of downtown Memphis heading to the Hotel. He was more than happy to be her pillow. As long as she was ok and Blake was on the mend. He spent the less than 10-minute drive in silent prayer. He tanked God for his family, for sparing his wife and for keeping his son alive. He knew tomorrow was going to be tough. News was going to break and when it did, he was going to have a very upset family. Especially one particular daughter.


	5. Uncle Conrad to the rescue

Ch. 5

"ok…don't panic. I'm sure he is fine. Dad would have told you if he wasn't…" cooed Alison McCord. Her sister was losing her mind. She was a little pissed at her dad too as he had left a weird text about going to see Mom and to not watch the news. That was never a good thing. But then Stevie couldn't get a hold of Mom, Dad, or Blake. Even the security detail was giving them weird looks.

Stevie stopped passing her and Blakes apartment long enough to cry "But Blake never misses my texts. Even when he is supper busy, he will send me something even if it's just a punctuation so I know he is ok. Something is wrong. I can feel it in my bones. I love him so much and I feel that he is not right. Something has happened. Why else would dad tell us and the detail not to let us watch the news. The last time this happened was during that assassination attempt drill." Stevie was past the point of logical thinking. And Alison was at her wits end of what to do. She just hoped that everyone was ok. Especially her Mom and future brother-in-law.

Blake had been a part of the family for a while, but with him and Stevie getting married next year after the election, he was finally going to be a permanent member. That's when she got an idea. She could call the President. Surly he would know how to get a message to her dad. So, she picked up her phone and dialed the president's personal number.

*ring…ring…ring…ri* "Hello? Allison are you ok?"

"Uncle Conrad… I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to call you on this number unless its and emergency, but I think it is an emergency…" Alison spoke so fast that the president had trouble keeping up.

"Ali…Ali, calm down. I'm not mad. You know you can call me whenever you need to. Now slower this time, what's going on?" President Dalton was pretty sure he knew what was wrong, but on the off chance he was wrong, felt he should get her to say it out loud.

"Ok…ok…um…so, Dad sent us all a weird text about going to see Mom yesterday, but didn't say anything else other than not to watch the news. And apparently, he said this to the detail because we have been cut off from the internet and everything. Well, at first, I thought it was one of these annoying drills, but now we can't get Dad to respond to texts, Mom is not responding, and neither is Blake and Stevie is about ready to lose her mind. We haven't called Jason since he is on that trip to Australia. But do you know what is going on…We just want to know if everything is ok?" …

Conrad knew it was not his place to tell them, but figured he could play dumb long enough to get a hold of Henry or Elizabeth. "Ok, Ali, I will find out what's going on. Until then, I'm going to call your detail and have them bring both of you to the white house. That way you are not alone. Lydia would love to see you both."

"Thank you, Uncle Conrad," Alison said in relief. We will be ready to go in about 5 minutes.

"Ok sweetheart. Lydia will meet you at the east entrance." Conrad said this with as much care as possible. When he was actually rather pissed at Henry for not keeping his kids and especially him in the loop. All he knew was there was an attempt, but it would appear that he did not receive all of the information.

**Back in Memphis**

It was just going 7am. *ring…ring…ring…ring…*

Henry was jarred from sleep by both the phone and Elizabeth jerking into his ribs.

"Henry…get the phone…it's on your side" Mumbled Elizabeth as she was still not with it yet.

As he picked up the room phone, he realized he didn't have his cell phone, and had no idea where it was. "Hello…"

"Hello, is this Henry McCord?" asked a slightly familiar voice.

"Yes, it is… who is "asked Henry but was cut off by the words "Hold for the President". _Well answers that question he thought_.

"Henry…are you with Elizabeth?" asked the Conrad. The time for pleasantries was over. "Yes, Mr. President, she is right here…" Henry turned to Elizabeth who for her part was much more alert at that statement.

"Good…Put me on speaker. You both need to hear this!" Conrad demanded.

"Yes Sir." As henry put the phone on speaker. Elizabeth said "Good Moring Mr. President. Is everything ok?"

"It's good to hear you Bess, but No, everything is most definitely not Ok…now I realize that being shot at is not a fun experience and that is probably brought up some bad memories, but to not call your daughters. They were both about to lose their minds in worry. All you did Henry by sending the text you did was cause them both to worry more than if you had just taken them with you. Now, I want to know what is going on and why I have been left out of the loop. The news said there was a shooting, but nothing else. Apparently, the area you were in was all but deserted. So, there is that, but Alison called me about to hyperventilate because neither she or Stevie could get ahold of anyone and the Detail wouldn't say anything per Henry's instructions. So, while I am extremely glad you are both ok, I really what to know what the hell is going on!" said Conrad in full presidential mode.

Henry and Elizabeth both looked at each other in horror. Elizabeth was the first to speak. "Oh…God Conrad. Everything happened so fast, when Blake was shot, all I could think about was him. Then at the hospital I handed my phone to Matt, but only found out last night that my phone had been broken. When Henry got to the Hospital, all I could think about was him and Blake. I am so sorry Mr. President. I will have Matt send you a report of everything and periodic updates. As for Henry…" she looked toward Henry who then began "I'm sorry too sir. I had intended to call the girls especially Stevie as I know she would want to know about Blake, but until I knew what was going on, I kept it vague. But I just realized this morning actually, that I have no idea where my phone is. I more than likely lost it while traveling."

Conrad's heart was breaking as he listened to his two best friends chastise themselves. He was also worried about Blake. He knew it was probably bad, if all they were saying was Blake was shot and not Blake was hurt but is doing better. But what was more concerning was the sounds of defeat in their voices. Not many knew, but Conrad had been read into the troubles Blake had a few years back and was aware how much he meant to the McCord family, even before his engagement to Stephanie. Conrad in that moment had made a decision.

"Well, you both worry about Blake and I have the girls. Since Jason is in Australia till next week, the girls, Lydia, and I will be flying down to Memphis today. I can remove this small bit of stress. I will also have you two new phones, so that this little debacle doesn't happen again." Conrad was already sending a text off to the pilots of Airforce One that they were going to Memphis, TN when Elizabeth tried to cut in…

"Conrad, you don't have to…" but that was as far as she got before being cut off by the Commander in Chief in all his Glory… "I don't care what I have to do…Blake is Family and like I told you all those years ago…

**Flashback CIA Directors Office**

Elizabeth McCord was nervous. She had never been a nervous person, but when she got a summons to Director Daltons office this morning, she wished Henry was home so, she could call him to calm down, but he was on the tail end of his first deployment overseas. So, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Enter"

When she went in, she saw director Dalton in his funny bow tie and gave a small smile "You wanted to see me sir…"

"Yes, I did Bess, please, have a seat." He waved her over to the seats. He hated having to give bad news especially to Elizabeth as he thought of her as niece. She was so smart and sharp. He admired her. But now he was going to have to break her heart. It's no easy thing to have to do to tell you that your husband has been shot down and is missing in action. It's not an easy thing to begin with, but he knew that Elizabeth didn't have anyone to lean on. Henry had told him before he was deployed that if anything were to happen to him, that he wanted Conrad to keep an eye on Elizabeth because his own family was less than supportive. He had given his word, and now he would have to act on it.

"So…how have you been?" he started off trying to seem nonchalant. But as his friend was very perceptive, caught on right away.

"I'm fine Sir, but what's going on? With all due respect, you didn't call me up here to ask how I've been." She stated while nervously twisting her hands together, while keeping her face unreadable.

"Bess…" Conrad sighed, "there is no easy way to say this…" he looked Elizabeth in the eye and she gasped and tears filled her eyes, but they did not fall.

"Conrad, tell me…" she begged.

"Henry's plane was shot down. He ejected but his location beacon was damaged and he is now missing in action. There is a search and rescue mission already happening to locate him. But he did have to eject over enemy terrain. It is possible that he survived and is waiting for evac, or there is also the possibility of him being held prisoner." As Conrad spoke, the tears fell. Elizabeth listened with rapt attention. Never loosing eye contact. It was only after he stopped speaking that he realized that Elizabeth was barely breathing, she wasn't blinking, and she had gone very pale.

"Shit…. Elizabeth?... can you hear me? damnit" Conrad was unsure what was happening, but knew it was not good. Just as he was about to shake her, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted. He helped her down to the ground and then ran the few steps to his office phone and paged medical to his office. It took less than 4 minutes. As the medical staff entered the office, Elizabeth had yet to regain conciseness. That was troubling. Her heart rate was too slow, her breathing too shallow, and she was not responding to painful stimuli. The medical staff loaded her onto a stretcher and put her on a monitor, put her on oxygen by mask and took her to the CIA infirmary, which was the equivalent to an emergency room. All four doctors on call surrounded her and began to do tests to determine what was going on. Conrad had followed as they transported her down stairs to the infirmary and watched as they worked on her. After about 10 minutes, they moved Elizabeth into another room and one of the doctors walked up to Conrad to ask some questions.

"Director Dalton, I'm Dr. Fishbern."

"Hello Doctor. How is Agent McCord? Is she awake yet?" asked Conrad.

"Yes, she regained consciousness, but was very foggy on details. We have determined that she has suffered an emotional shutdown. It is an isolated incident. Basically, she was so emotionally distressed by the situation, that her brain decided to protect itself. It caused her heart to beat slowly, her breathing to go shallow, and her nervous system to not transmit signals. We gave her supplemental O2 and a medication to speed up her heart. She is now awake and is asking for you. We are going to keep her here for a few hours, let her sleep off the light sedative we gave her, then will release her to her husband."

"Thank you, Doctor. There is a problem with her release as her husband is deployed. Can she not be released alone?" Conrad had a feeling he knew the answer to that last question. He would have to call Lydia.

"No, she cannot be allowed to be alone yet. She could have a relapse and that could be fatal if she were to be alone. If I may be so bold Sir, is her husband the reason for this incident? That would make much more sense. She does not strike me as a person who would get this worked up about analytical work" the Doctor replied to Director Dalton.

"You would be correct Doctor. I had just told her that her husband was just listed as MIA. She did not handle that well, but then again, I didn't expect her to." Said Dalton. "Would there be a problem if she were to stay with someone else? Say my wife and I. We are friends outside of work. Would she be safe to stay with us for the weekend?" asked Dalton.

"Yes, that would explain the episode. I read her file. She lost her parents at a young age, the prospect of losing her husband would definitely check all the boxes required for this type of episode. And Yes, if your wife and yourself can keep an eye on her over the weekend, then I would feel comfortable releasing her to you." The Doctor was very glad Director Dalton was an understanding man. He was also glad that Agent McCord had someone in her corner since her husband couldn't be. "Well sir, I will let you go in to see her. She is sleeping, and we have her on a nasal canula just for precaution. She is doing much better" said Dr. Fishbern as he left Director Dalton outside Agent McCords room.

"Thank you again Doctor. I am going to go call my wife to let her know we will be having a house guest and I will come back since she is sleeping" said Conrad.

About an hour and a half later, Conrad entered Elizabeth's room to see her awake and sitting on the side of the bed. She looked up at him as the door opened and gave a shy embarrassed grin.

"Conrad, I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. You were talking about Henry and then everything just when silent and then dark. The next thing I remember was waking up here" Elizabeth nervously spoke.

"Bess, its fine. You are fine. That's all I care about. And before you ask there is no news on Henry. But as you know, that is good news. Now, are you ready to go" asked Conrad.

Elizabeth looked at him confused, "Go? Uhm…I still have work…its only 1:15pm."

Conrad smiled and shook his head, and spoke slowly and clearly "Elizabeth, you fainted in my office. You were barely alive for close to 6 minutes, and you needed medical treatment. Not to mention you have just been made aware that you husband is MIA. You my dear are going home…with me. The doctor does not want you to be alone incase this happens again. So, hop to. Lydia is expecting us."

Elizabeth had gone very still. She had known she had scared Conrad, but not to this extent. "Sir, I can't do that. You're my boss. I will be fine on my own. Really…" but she was cut off my Conrad who was now in Boss mode.

"Agent McCord! Do I need to make this an order? because if that is what you require, then by all means. I order you to get you behind up and follow me to my car where my driver will be taking both of us to my home where you will reside for the next two days. Is that understood?" Conrad knew he was hitting below the belt, but knew it was needed.

"Yes, Sir…" Elizabeth replied. She was no longer making eye contact she was so embarrassed. And she wanted Henry to be ok and to be found.

Conrad saw her shrink a little and sighed. He loved this young woman. And it was time she knew too. He grabbed her into a hug and said, "Bess, we are family. And family looks out for one another no matter what the circumstances. I know that you feel alone. But please know, that you will always have me. Not all families are traditional. Some are made of miss-matched parts."

For the first time since her parents had died, and Henry had been deployed, she was safe. She hugged Conrad back hard and then took a deep breath and said, "ok. Thanks Conrad. I needed that reminder. Now let's go before Lydia is pissed."

They both laughed and headed out…

**End Flashback**

Both Henry and Elizabeth got dressed and headed back to the hospital. She had had Matt send a full report to the President on Air Force One. As they were entering Blakes room, they saw Susie sitting at a small desk in the room. She looked up at them both when they came in, "Good Morning. So, good news overnight. Blake has begun to respond to painful stimuli. What that means is he is able to feel. So, we can rule out many neurological side effects of the hypoxia or lack of oxygen. So, depending on how he does today, we will be reducing his sedation and if his oxygen saturation stays in the high 90's, we will even start to remove him from the ventilator. Also, we were able to remove his chest tube as he had no more drainage overnight. So…all good news this morning" Susie said with a smile.


	6. The wait seems longer

Ch. 6

Henry and Elizabeth both let out a collective breath and both turned and hugged each other tight. Once they let go of each other, Elizabeth turned to Susie and said "Thank you so much for staying with him. We are so grateful to you. Today will probably be a hard day, so this gives us good news to pass to our daughter once she gets here." Elizabeth turned to hold Blakes hand and continued to speak to Susie "you see, Blake works for me, and even though henry and I think of him as a son, he is soon to be our actual son-in-law. He is engaged to our oldest daughter Stevie. During all of the drama the last few days, I haven't told her what has happened and she and our other daughter are on their way here. So, you will probably be an invaluable source of information once she is here. She will be extremely pissed at me and will have many questions." Once Elizabeth had gone silent, Susie felt she needed to say something.

Um…Ma'am, I may be speaking out of turn here, but my husband was killed in action in Iraq 8 months ago. We had only been married a few months when his tour started. He had 16 weeks left on a three-year tour when his medical unit was bombed. The military is very good at death notification, but I still didn't find out until he had been gone a full week. I had very vivid dreams about my Aiden during that week. I like to think he visited me in my dreams…" she trailed off lost in thought as a tear ran down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. She cleared her throat, shook her head and continued looking a tearful Elizabeth in the eye, "She will be mad, but she will also be grateful that he was not alone and that if something would have happened, she would have been the first to know. I was angry at the Navy for not telling me before, but after a while, I was grateful. It made that week of dreams more comforting. She will be comforted more than angry. You'll see…" she smiled and turned and walked away before Elizabeth or Henry could stop her.

Once the door closed, Henry turned to Elizabeth who was still wrestling with what Susie had admitted. He opened his arms as he knew she needed a good hug and a moment. She wrapped her arms around Henry, put her face in his chest and just took a deep breath. She thought to herself about Susie. She didn't seem old enough to have been married. She seemed Ali's age. She thought a quick second about how she would have felt if Henry had not made it home from Dessert Storm. She would not have been functional.

As she was thinking this, Henry smiled before saying quietly, "This place is amazing. We should consider retiring here. I have never met more kind, surprising people. Yesterday, when you first left with Susie, I was going to give you space, but then I had this overwhelming feeling that you needed me more than you needed space. So, I went to find you but had no way idea where to go, I asked this nurse who told me her name was 'Gretta' and she proceeded to tell me that if I hadn't gotten up to go get you as soon as I did, she was going to grab my ear and drag me to you" he laughed. "she told me she had six sons plus her husband. She said all men, young and old, are either saying something stupid, or doing something stupid."

As she looked to Blake, Elizabeth said in a quite voice, "She may be on to something. Him pulling me behind him and taking that bullet was definitely stupid!" for the first time since the shooting, Elizabeth was ready to be mad at Blake for risking his life un-necessarily. She realized that it would not have been stupid to Blake or even Henry, but right now in this moment, his actions were the most brave yet stupid thing he had ever done to this point, and Elizabeth was going to waste no time once he was awake when she told him just how stupid it had been. Just like all those years ago…

**Flashback December 26th 10am**

Sat outside the psych ward both Henry and Elizabeth were nervous. They had spoken about how to handle Blake once he was released, but nothing could have prepared Elizabeth for the rush of emotion she felt when she laid eyes on Blake as he walked to them. He looked so much better, but yet, all she saw was him being unresponsive on the floor. She rushed to him and grabbed him in a rib crushing hug.

She was so mad and so happy at the same time. Both Henry and Dr. Sherman stood back. When Elizabeth released him, she had an expression on her face that was pure anger. It made Blake flinch. Henry stepped towards them to intervein, but was stopped by Dr. Sherman. She simply said, "No, they she needs to express her feelings and Blake needs to hear them. It will help no one if they both ignore the elephant in the room."

Elizabeth in a fit of rage, held Blake by his upper arms and shook him lightly saying "Are you out of your mind! I read your letter. How could you think that I would be better off without your presence and that my kids would be better off not subjected to your infectious nature! Have I failed you to this extent? Have I really not expressed to you the level of love and care I hold for you? Has Henry or the Kids not shown you enough? Are we not enough?" she was crying at this point and Blake was as well. "you know what, no! this is the most asinine, stupid, idiotic thing you have ever done Blake! And that is saying something. I have seen you get attached to a Mongol horse and get arrested for public urination on foreign soil, but this takes the fucking cake Blake! I mean seriously!" Once Elizabeth was done crying and screaming and surprisingly cursing, she released Blake and looked a bit sheepishly toward Henry then back to Blake expecting some form of answer.

After a deep breath and a look back to Dr. Sherman, who motioned him to continue, Blake simply shook his head and said, "NO! it was the opposite. Not, that it wasn't stupid and idiotic, because it was, but you all were more than enough. But I was afraid that if I let myself love you back, it would be too hard once you saw how broken I am. But Dr. Sherman and I have talked a lot about how my perceptions have been wrong. And I think I am ready to risk it. I love you and Dr. McCord like parents. You are everything I ever wanted in my own parents. I was never enough for them and so, I thought I wasn't enough for anyone. But I know that is not true. I am also sorry that you had to see me at my worst, but it's also helped that you did. Because now, I know you do truly care. Because if you didn't you would have let me die. And I am extremely grateful that you loved me enough to not only keep me alive, but to be angry at me for being so stupid." Blake was nervous and it translated in a very rushed speech.

After his little speech, Elizabeth grabbed a hold of Blake again and hugged him. "Damn it Blake, don't you ever and I mean EVER do anything this stupid again. I swear I will find the most creative way to punish you. It won't be violent, but it will be horrible! Do you understand me?" Elizabeth was in mom mode and it make Blake smile. He replied simply, "Got it! I feel that is not an empty threat." Henry who had been quite up to this point laughed and said "Smart move son. She can be deadly when out for revenge. One time she caught Stevie at friend's house drinking a wine cooler, she brought her home and had her drink about ten shots of tequila and then played rock music on blast the next morning during her hangover! She never drank again. She didn't even want to drink when she was legal to drink." Henry laughed and turned to Elizabeth and said in a surprised voice "now that I think about it, I have never seen her drink more than two glasses of wine max…"

Elizabeth giggled and said "What can I say, I'm good at what I do" Elizabeth was secretly proud that her plan had worked with Stevie. It had an interesting and unforeseen effect on Alison who never tried at all. Only Jason did, and she had been too worried he would enjoy the punishment to try it on the Anarchist. That kid was going to give her grey hair!

After a few minutes, Dr. Sherman cleared her throat, "Ok. Both of you and Henry come have a seat so we can talk about what happens next." Dr. Sherman sat in a chair facing a couch that had Blake sitting between Henry and Elizabeth.

"Ok, Blake you have made some good progress these past few days. I no longer feel you are a danger to yourself. However, this does not mean that this is over. It took years to cause the damage we are now seeing, and one can't expect to repair all that damage in a few days. I need you all to understand that this is going to be a daily thing. Blake you have to tell us what you are feeling. Bottling up your feelings lead us here. You have to talk to us. Until told otherwise, you will have sessions with me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and a Facetime call on Sunday. These will be a mixture of one on one sessions and group sessions with all three of you or just two of you. Also, Blake, as part of your treatment, you will no longer be living alone. You will be moving into the McCord home an…"

Blake cut her off, "No, I am fine. I have my own apartment. I will come to all of my appointments I swear, but I don't need…."

Dr. Sherman stopped him, "This is non-negotiable. Blake unfortunately, once you chose to take your own life, you have been provided guardians. You no-longer have the ability to be alone. If you refuse to live with the McCords, you will not be being released from the Hospital. Your release is dependent upon having 24-hour supervision. That is the law in the DC."

Blake looked so sad, that Elizabeth pulled him to her and he put his head on her shoulder. "Blake" Elizabeth said in a tone that was meant to sooth and comfort, "We want you with us. Me, Henry and the kids. We are your family now. Now and for always. We are having your apartment packed up and all of your things are being moved to your new room and the rest to storage. I know you hated that apartment anyway. You know this is the best thing. I don't want to see you have to stay here. Now you can come home with us where you belong. And also, I know what your thinking. No one at work will know. As far as they will be concerned, my motorcade just picks you up whenever they do me." When she saw him open his mouth to interrupt, she stopped him saying "and if they somehow figure out that you are staying with us, then its not unheard of for a politicians Personal Assistance to live with them. I know of half a dozen senators, the secretary of Defense and the secretary of the Interior all have their PA's living on site."

After this, Blake relaxed and gave in. "Ok. I do appreciate it. I don't want to stay here either" Blake said quietly.

Dr. Sherman nodded and continued, "Ok… good. Now that that is settled. The next thing is work. I know that you are off work until the 12th of January. I will evaluate you a few days before that to determine if you can return. But I see no immediate reason to think you will not be able to return to work. Now, the last thing and probably the hardest we will be discussing. Until further notice, you are to have zero contact with your parents or your sister. At a later date, we can discuss if you wish to make contact, but as of now, none. That is no calls, texts, emails, or social media. NOTHING! This is my number one rule Blake. You must follow it to get better. We have discussed them at length and I think you will agree that they are a toxic influence on you.

Blake just nodded and simply said in a very low voice that made him sound much younger than he was "Yeah"

Taking that as agreement. Dr. Sherman looked at both Henry and Elizabeth and asked "Do either of you have any questions or need to express any feelings…"

*End Flashback*

It was going on 3pm, when one of her DS agents stuck his head in saying that Air Force One had landed at Memphis International Airport and that the President and her daughters would be here in less than half an hour.

Elizabeth turned to Henry and all he did was open his arms and she settled in on the small couch in Blakes room and listened to the whoosh of the ventilator and the soothing rhythm of this heart rate and waited for all hell to break loose.


	7. Aunt Liddie

**Authors note: ok, so I know in the show, Stevie and Harrison are the same age, but in my story…mainly because I can, that will not be the case. In my story they will be around 6 years apart, (so in the flashbacks he will be a cute, rambunctious 5-year-old who absolutely loves Bess). These next few chapters are going to be a little different as they are going to be in many different points of view (POV) so keep that in mind. Thanks for reading and I enjoy your reviews immensely. -Kate

Ch. 7

Lydia Dalton was a strong woman, she prided herself on being so. She was what the British referred to as a WASP-dominant, privileged, and influential in American society. She was all that and more, but when her Connie had walked into the sitting room in the residence with a pale face and shaky hands this morning, she immediately became the one thing that Conrad needed. His wife. She led him to the sofa and held him to her as he cried. Once he had calmed, she asked "Connie, what's wrong? Is it Harrison… or Bess?" she had long ago realized that even though she only birthed one son, she gained a daughter in Elizabeth.

**Flashback**

Conrad led Elizabeth out of the CIA infirmary into the underground parking lot and over to his detail. Once in the car, the detail asked if they were dropping off Elizabeth at her home. She opened her mouth to say yes, but Conrad just gave her a look and she quickly closed her mouth and turned to look out the window. Conrad then looked to the front seat and said "No, Bess is coming home with me. Thank you, Chuck." Chuck said "Yes sir" and that was that.

During the drive, Conrad looked over at Elizabeth and knew she was barely holding it together. He leaned his arm over and pulled her to him. She resisted slightly, but once she was near his chest, she just gave in and snuggled up to him. And before long, she was asleep.

Once they pulled up to his home, Lydia was already outside on the porch. She came over to the car having already been informed of what was going on by Conrad before he ever told Elizabeth of what was going to be happening. When she opened the door of the car, she almost cried. There was the strongest woman she knew, holding on to her Connie like he was her last lifeline. Lydia meet Conrad's eyes and they silently agreed that this was the best decision. Their girl needed them. And they would be there for her. No matter what.

"Elizabeth, sweetheart, can you get up for me?" Lydia spoke softly in a tone that she only used with Harrison and when Conrad was sick. "Come on sweetie, you need to come inside, then you can lay back down…" slowly Elizabeth started to respond to Lydia. Once she was awake, she realized she was laying on something very soft and warm. When she went to set up, she realized she had been laying on her boss.

"Oh my God, Sir, I am so sorry! I…" she was cut off by Conrad who grabbed a hold of her before she could back out of the seat into the floorboard of the car. "Elizabeth…Bess…calm down, its fine, look at me" Conrad said as he got her to look at him. He noticed the glassy eyes and asked her soothingly "Do you know where you are?" Conrad waited patiently for her to answer. Off to the side, Lydia stood just observing. She knew that Bess was not handling Henry being MIA, _who would_ she thought, but she had not expected this.

Elizabeth was confused and foggy. She felt drugged. _Oh yeah, because you were. You lost it in your boss's office and had to have medical treatment and now you are being babysat by your boss and his wife_ she thought guiltily. She shook her head to clear it and said in the clearest voice she could "Yes sir. I am in your car, at your home because I cannot be alone with the medication I was given."

Conrad shook his head in response and said "Close. You are in my car and at my home. But not because of medication, but because…and look at me in the eye when I tell you this..." he waited until she did and continued "You are here because WE – Lydia and I, want you here because we love you and don't want you to be alone. You are family. And family are there for one another. I will continue to repeat this as needed. But I have hope that you will eventually let it sink in." as he finished, she gave a tearful deep breath and then turned to Lydia who she had just noticed and went to say something, only to be wrapped up in her arms and held tight. Before she knew what had happened, she had been led into the Dalton home by Lydia and sat on the couch and a blanket was wrapped around her.

As she laid on the couch with her head in Lydia's lap, while Lydia softly hummed a song she couldn't place and Lydia rans her hand through her hair, Elizabeth drifted off to sleep with the feeling of family and just the smallest bit of pain as she wished it was her mother and not Lydia whom was giving her comfort, but at the same time, eternally grateful that she had her and Conrad. She gave off a contented sigh as she finally accepted her new family…

Lydia continued to pet Bess's head even after she went to sleep. Conrad had gone upstairs and changed out of his suit into lounge pants and an old US naval academy shirt. As he came down the stairs, he noticed that Bess was again asleep. He knew this was normal as she was given a sedative by the doctor, but he still worried none the less. As he walked near silently to the other side of the coffee table to face Lydia and Bess, he meets the eyes of his wife and smiled. "How's she doing Liddie?" he asked quietly

Lydia smiled in return and gave a small sigh…" She is doing about as good as one can expect for a young woman to be told that her husband is MIA. About as good as I would be if it had been you. Did the doctor give you any instructions for her care?"

Conrad replied "just to keep an eye on her this weekend. He said she would be sleepy as he gave her a sedative in the infirmary. We are to call 911 if she is having any trouble breathing or if she faints and doesn't regain consciousness within 5 minutes." He didn't want to scare Lydia, but he also needed to tell her exactly what happened. He knew the look he got when he said trouble breathing. His wife wanted answers and would not let him beat around the bush.

"Conrad, you had better start telling me everything! You left out more than a few things when you called earlier. I knew the day you introduced me to Bess when she was 17 years old and about to start college that she was going to be a package deal. I knew you had become attached to her and that you were more to her than just a CIA recruiter. So, you had better tell me what's going on with our girl now and do it before she wakes. I don't want to have to hash this out twice" said Lydia in a hushed, authoritative voice.

Conrad just smiled and said in an equally quite voice "Yes, Ma'am…. Well, I got a call this morning from Henry's CO. Henry told me had me down as a point person in the event of something happening because he didn't want Elizabeth to be told and be alone…"

**End Flashback**

As Conrad calmed completely, he knew he had to tell Lydia everything. "Russel just told me he got a call from Elizabeth's DS detail. There was an incident…" he trailed off an put his face in his hands.

"Conrad, what kind of incident?" Lydia asked worriedly.

"Some crazy man with a gun tried to kill her!" Conrad was so angry and guilty. He got up and started pacing. "it's my fault she was in that position. I talked her into this. I recruited her to be Secretary of State despite the fact that Vincent had been killed, I made sure she ran because I wanted my legacy to be intact. It's all my fault…"

"Conrad! Stop this right now" Lydia yelled to get his attention. When she had it, she pointed to the couch where he slowly sat and looked at her. She was in fierce wife mode. He knew he had proverbially 'fucked up'.

"Yes Ma'am" he said sheepishly.

She just shook her head and smiled like she did every time he spoke to her like she was his commanding officer. "Now, before we tackle your misspaced guilt…ah, ah, ah…" she stopped him interrupting with a shake of her finger. He just lowered his head and then looked at her again and she continued "is Bess ok?"

Conrad began to explain that he was only aware of the incident, that he didn't have any news yet when his cell phone went off. He looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Ali. He turned to Lydia and answered the phone "Hello? Allison are you ok?... Ali…Ali, calm down. I'm not mad. You know you can call me whenever you need to. Now slower this time, what's going on?"

Lydia for her part had a bad feeling. She watched Conrad try to call down Allison and get all the information he could.

Conrad was getting more and more upset. _What was Henry thinking? He knew all three of his kids were smarter than most CIA and NSA agents. He thought about telling them that one day._ But now he needed to stall Alison and get her and Stevie here…"Ok, Ali, I will find out what's going on. Until then, I'm going to call your detail and have them bring both of you to the white house. That way you are not alone. Lydia would love to see you both. Ok sweetheart. Lydia will meet you at the east entrance."

Once he had hung up the phone, Lydia was ready for information.

"Henry in his haste to get to Elizabeth yesterday, sent a blanket text to Ali and Stevie about him going to see Elizabeth and to not watch the news. He apparently also said this to the detail because they have no access to cable news or the internet. They can't seem to get a hold of anyone." After he had explained, Lydia was not happy.

"Well I'm sure he was not thinking straight, but to not respond. That's what's worrying me…"

Conrad agreed. Then Lydia stopped. "What do you mean yesterday?" you were just told this morning? Conrad what the Hell is going on?" Lydia all but yelled.

"Lydia, I want you to get the girls and make sure they have eaten. The director of the diplomatic security is about to have a 'come to Jesus meeting' and then we will more than likely be on our way to Tennessee as that was where Elizabeth was yesterday. I am not in the mood for long distance right now!"

Lydia just gave him a hug and then told him "Good, you go kick some ass and I will get my grandbabies. Make sure you express both our displeasure for being left out of the loop! Wait, Connie, where is Jason? Oh, never mind I forgot about Australia. Should he be contacted and brought home?"

Conrad hugged her again and said "God, I love you so much Liddie. I think he is ok where he is. I will ask Henry and Elizabeth once we have a better idea of what is going on. Go get our girls. They need you now and I will find out all I can. Be ready to leave in the next few hours." With that he kissed her forehead and left the residence to potentially fire a few people.

Lydia took a deep breath and then headed to the east entrance to wait. She sent up a silent prayer for her family to be ok and help her to help the girls. She was taken from her silence by the arrival of a Black SUV.

Once the SUV stopped, Alison was the first one out. She ran up to Lydia and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Aunt Liddie, thanks for meeting us. Does Uncle Conrad have information about Mom and Dad yet? Stevie still can't get a hold of Blake. She is about to lose it!"

Lydia hugged Alison back just a tight. "Oh, my girl. You have grown since I last saw you. And not yet. He has gone to get some information for you both." As she said this Stevie had made her way up and said "Hi Aunt Lydia. I'm sorry for all the drama. I'm sure everything is fine; it's just Blake never misses my texts and calls. I feel like something is wrong…"

As Stevie spoke, Lydia had a flash to all those years ago and discovered that Stevie took after her mother in more than appearance. Lydia opened her arms and took Stevie into her embrace just as the first tears broke free. "Oh honey. I wish I could say everything will be fine. But I am in as much of the dark as you. But I promise your Uncle Conrad will get to the bottom of this and we will find out everything. Ok? Come on both of you. Let's get inside. Uncle Conrad told me he was going to go yell at a few people then we would more than likely be going to see your Mother and Father. And yes Stevie, we will also be seeing Blake." Lydia tried to soothe both Stevie and Alison. But unfortunately, her words only reassured Alison. Stevie just cried harder.

They had been sitting on the sofa in the residence for about an hour and a half when Conrad returned with a grim look on his face. Lydia saw his face and knew something was wrong. Very, Very Wrong.

Lydia was not the only one to see this look. Stevie did and she was on her feet before Lydia could stop her.

Stevie looked at Conrad and said "NO! no, no, no, no… don't look like that! That looks means someone is dead! I know that look!" she was breathing hard and began to shake. Conrad knew what was about to happen as it did with Elizabeth. As her eyes rolled back into her head, Conrad had just grabbed a hold of her as she dropped.

Lydia yelled for medical to the Secret Service agent in the corner and grabbed a hold of Alison who went to run to her sister. "baby, she is ok. I promise. Let the medics take care of her. She is ok honey." She was rocking Alison on the couch and watching as the medical team who had just arrived were crowded around Stevie.

After about 20 minutes. The medical team had loaded up Stevie and had transported her to one of the guest rooms. She had regained consciousness and they had sedated her.

She and Alison approached Conrad who motioned them over. He told them both that Airforce One was waiting at Andrews for takeoff to Memphis. He told them both that Elizabeth was fine. And that Henry was with her. But that Blake had been shot. He was in critical condition and that they were going to them as soon as Stevie woke up.

Alison for her part took the news ok. She was upset of course. But she just turned and cried in Lydia's chest. Lydia for her part was also crying. She loved that boy just like the other McCords.

Conrad was worried and shared a look with Lydia. They both knew that if something happened to Blake, it would affect more than just Stevie. It would affect the whole family. Conrad was also making an executive decision in regards to Jason. "Alison, do you know the number to get in touch with Jason's chaperone? I want to get him to Memphis too. Our family needs to be together right now."

Alison cleared her throat and said "Yes sir." She took out her phone and texted him the name and number of the parental contact.

"Thanks honey. I am going to go call and get Jason on a plane. Stay with your sister and Lydia. As soon as Stevie is awake, we will leave for Andrews. Ok?"

"Thanks Uncle Conrad. Love you." Said Alison as she hugged him. He returned her sentiment, "I love you too my dear. Always and forever. You're my little princess. Now, go on with Lydia."

To Lydia, Conrad gave her a kiss and said "Take care of our girls. I am going to get trouble on a plane. We should be able to leave in about an hour. The medic said he gave her a low dose. And he will be flying with us in case she needs to be dosed on the plane. I am assured that it will take a little more than two hours to fly there."

Lydia replied "Ok. I love you too Connie. Go get our little trouble maker. We will be ready to go."


	8. Like Mother Like Daughter

Ch. 8

**Authors note- I'm so sorry for those of you who have been waiting for an update. I have had two ways to go with this and couldn't decide which way to go. So here it is…I hope you like the direction I took. And hope you all review so I can get your ideas on future chapters.

As Conrad got back to his office, Russel was already waiting. "Sir, what is this I hear about you flying to Memphis?" Russel asked briskly.

"Well Russel, Lydia and I are taking Alison and Stevie with us to see Elizabeth and Henry. As well as to see how Blake is doing. Why do you ask?" Conrad had a pretty good idea. Russel never truly understood the closeness between himself and Elizabeth.

"Well, Sir… it's just that you have meetings. I'm sure the girls can handle a flight by themselves. I mean both of them are relatively responsible." Russel really did not thing the President should drop everything just because the former Secretary of States assistant got shot. "and further more sir, the gunman was killed, so no harm done. Bess can continue on the tour as planned and its not your job to hold the hands…"

Russel's tack was as always absent and about a quarter of the way through his little speech, the President had gone still. After he said the girls could handle a flight, he was mad, but to make a comment of no harm done, now he was livid.

"RUSSEL!" yelled Conrad. Russel for his part stopped mid-sentence. He looked up from his phone to see the President of the United States giving him the hardest stare. If he were a lesser man, he would have pissed himself.

"Sir?" asked Russel confused. He didn't see what he could have said to make POTUS this angry. Sure, he was his usual self, but that didn't normally cause this reaction in the president.

"Are you really that heartless Russel? Are you really that cold, to make such a comment when you know that I have known Elizabeth and Henry for many, many years? Well, here is something you don't know. Both Lydia and myself are godparents to all three McCord children. Before I became president, all of the McCords were fixtures at our home. We vacation together, we had holidays together, I was present at the birth of all three of my surrogate grandchildren. And most importantly Elizabeth is way more than a friend. That amazing and wonderful woman is my daughter in all but name. So, no Russel, I will not put my grandkids on a plane alone and I will not sit here in meetings while my daughter needs me. And if you have a problem with that then my advice to you would be to go to Hell!"

Once Conrad had finished, all Russel could do was stare open mothed and apologize, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't know you were that close. I will keep everything running smoothly. Tell Bess I hope everything is ok…" Russel had been appropriately cowed.

"Thank you, Russel. I am sorry too. I should not have yelled; you had no way of knowing. Bess and I decided that if she took the post of Secretary of State, that we would have to maintain a distance. And normally that would be fine, but anyway. I need you to coordinate getting Jason McCord to Memphis." He handed Russel a note with the name and number of the parental contact. "Jason is in Australia on a school trip. He needs to be with his family. Make sure someone is with him when you tell him what is happening. You don't have to be as sensitive with him. He will see right through that. Make sure he knows him mother is fine first." As he was finishing with Russel, he was informed that Stevie was awake and ready to leave. He nodded to Russel and then made his way to the west lawn to get on Marine One with Lydia and the girls. Once at Andrews they boarded Air Force One.

In what felt like no time at all, they arrived in Memphis. As Conrad and his girls disembarked the plane, they got into the waiting motorcade and began the short trip to the hospital. It was just after 3pm when they arrived at Regional One Hospital.

Once they walked into the entrance deemed safe by the Secret Service and DS, they were met by a nervous Henry McCord.

"DAD! Oh my God Dad! We were so worried. Is Mom ok? Is Blake ok?" Allison was speaking so fast she could barely breath in-between.

Henry just hugged his daughter and tried to get her to calm down in order to explain. He looked up and saw both Conrad and Lydia with a near silent Stevie between them. He gave Conrad a look saying why is she so calm and quiet?

Conrad gave him an equally silent look saying I'll tell you later.

Ok. Elizabeth didn't want to leave Blake alone, so let's go up and let Suzie…Um… she is one of Dr. Doran's Interns who is assigned to Blake and us to explain everything. Just know for now that Elizabeth is fine. She wasn't hurt at all and Blake even though he doesn't look it, is in stable condition.

As they walked, Henry was getting more unsettled by Stevie's demeanor by the second. He remembered Conrad telling him about Elizabeth being like this when he had been declared MIA.

*Flashback*

Harrison Dalton had just been picked up at school by his Daddy. His daddy never picked him up because he had an important job. He made sure the whole world was safe. That seemed like a really big job! His daddy had told him that his Aunty Bess was gonna be staying with them for the weekend. And he was so excited. He loved his Aunty Bess. She was so much fun. He was almost vibrating with excitement. That is until his daddy had told him that Aunty Bess was not feeling well right now. That Uncle Henry had been in an accident and Aunty Bess was sad.

So, it was a much more subdued Harrison who crept into the living room where Elizabeth was sleeping and crawled up next to her and fell asleep. When Lydia came looking for Harrison, her heart melted at the sight of little Harrison giving comfort to Elizabeth and Elizabeth cuddling him back. she smiled and quietly backed out of the living room.

"Lydia…where did harry get to? He's not bothering Bess, is he?" asked Conrad.

"No, honey, he is not bothering her. He is helping her." She motioned to the living room, "Go see for yourself, just be quiet. She is finally resting." Said Lydia.

When Conrad came back into the kitchen Lydia had begun cooking dinner. "Need some help Liddie?"

Lydia looked over to him and saw his face, he had been touched by their kids giving each other comfort too. "Sure Connie. You can cut up the Veggies. Make sure there are extra carrots. Bess likes more carrots in her soup."

Conrad smiled at that. Leave it to Lydia to think of everything.

"Bess, honey, you need to eat something." Lydia was about out of ideas. Elizabeth had not spoken a word in about five hours. Even little Harrison hadn't been able to get her to react.

"Lydia I am really not hungry. I feel nauseous and I really don't want to get sick." Elizabeth was above whining, but not by much.

"sweetheart that is probably from the sedative. I would bet my poker winnings that you didn't eat lunch today before being called to Conrad's office and then you were given very strong medication. It wouldn't surprise me if you were nauseated. But Honey, you need to eat. Even if you do get sick. I have a five-year-old, you think I have never seen puke? Hell, I have dealt with Conrad after way too much bourbon! It will be fine. But you have to eat! No more discussion!" Lydia reassured her and then laid down the law. Elizabeth and Conrad were two peas in a pod! Both stubborn as the day is long!

Elizabeth looked at Lydia with sad eyes and sighed "Ok, I'll try. Just keep a bucket nearby" she tried to joke but it fell flat when Conrad walked in with a sick bucket. Elizabeth looked at him in surprise.

He looked back at her and said "What? We have a five-year-old. You would think they would have some kind of warning before they puke, but I'm here to tell you they don't. I have one of these puppies in almost every room!"

Elizabeth giggled at that. It was the first time she had smiled since being told and it gave Conrad hope.

Conrad felt he was on a roll, "You try to clean vomit off of almost every surface. Wait till you and Henry have kids…"

Elizabeth's face went white and she lost all emotion on her face again. Conrad was worried she was gonna drop again, but instead she said "Oh God… and grabbed for the bucket an threw up spectacularly!" Lydia pulled her hair back and Conrad rubbed soothing circles on her back.

When she was finished. She felt too sick to be embarrassed. Conrad had left to clean the bucket and brought back a clean one. "Elizabeth I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It was…" Conrad was mid-apology when Elizabeth cut him off.

"No, Conrad. Its fine. I should have already told you. But I wanted to tell Hen…Henry first. But I'm pregnant. And I had forgotten about it until you said that!" she was getting panicky. "Oh, my God, what if the sedative hurts that baby…. what if this baby is the only thing I have left of Henry!" She was up pacing the room. While continuing to spill her thoughts. Both Conrad and Lydia were getting worried the more she spoke. "I can't lose this baby… I am already a horrible mother. I actually forgot about my unborn baby!" as she said baby, she began to droop.

At this point, Lydia knew that if they didn't keep Elizabeth calm, she would end up miscarrying. So, she took matters into her own hands.

"ELIZABETH!" Lydia yelled at her. Lydia Dalton never yelled. It stopped Elizabeth in her tracks as it was meant to.

Lydia wrapped her arms around Elizabeth an gave her a tight hug and began rocking gently side to side all the while softly whispering soothing words. Elizabeth calmed almost instantly. Lydia then walked her over to the couch and without braking contact told her in a motherly tone that she needed to stay calm for the baby. Once she was calm, Lydia waked her upstairs to lay down in what was going to be her room for the weekend.

Conrad stayed in the living room torn between being excited that his girl was having a baby and sad that his girl might be alone.

*end flashback*

Once the group had made it to Blakes room, Elizabeth and Suzie were waiting outside. Suzie stepped forward and introduced herself as Dr. Winters but to just call her Suzie. After introductions were over, Suzie sidled up to Stevie. She didn't like how she was looking.

"Hi, Stevie, right?" Suzie said

"yeah, how is Blake?" asked Stevie.

"Well before we go in to see him, I'm a little more concerned about you. Are you feeling ok?" as Suzie was speaking to Stevie, she was leading her down the hall to a room and Elizabeth and Henry had both shared a look and then turned to Conrad and Lydia. It was then that Elizabeth realized and opened her eyes wide and rushed off to where Suzie as leading Stevie.

This was not lost on Alison who turned to her Dad and said "Dad…I thing Stevie is like Mom. She fainted before we got here. But I'm glad she is here now. I'm worried about her. She seemed off before all this happened. Like she was trying to hide something."

Henry knew in that moment that he was pretty sure he knew what Stevie was hiding. And if the looks he was getting from Conrad and Lydia were any indication, they knew too. Henry decided to let the nurse at the station know they were going to the family room and to tell Suzie and Elizabeth know where they went.

"Ok, guys let go to the family room and wait for Mom and Stevie to come back with Suzie."

Down the hallway when Elizabeth caught up, she finally noticed just how bad Stevie looked. Suzie was leading her to a bed. And that was when Stevie gasped and leaned forward. Elizbeth was by her side instantly. Suzie was now yelling for a nurse and to bring in a portable ultrasound and page OB.

Elizabeth was supporting most of Stevie's weight and helping her onto the bed. "Breath honey, just breath." Said Elizabeth in a calm voice even though she was anything but calm on the inside. Her baby was in pain, enough pain that she was having trouble breathing.

It felt like seconds, but was more like minutes as the room was filled with people. Suzie got really close to Stevie and asked in a calm voice, "Honey… I know it hurts, but I need you to look at me, can you do that?"

Stevie grabbed her mothers' hand and looked at Suzie, "Good girl. Now, I know this is hard, but are you pregnant, or could you be pregnant?"

Stevie began to cry and said "Yes. I'm pregnant" just as another cramp caused her to almost fold in on herself as she cried out in pain.

Suzie was still calm as ever, to the point it helped calm Elizabeth who was close to a breakdown. Suzie continued her questions "ok, Stevie, stay with me…Stevie…do you know how far along?...Stevie, Honey it's very important…do you know how far along you are?"

Stevie for her part had never been in this much pain before in her life and was struggling to make words "um…I'm not sure….maybe 14 weeks. I fou…nd out…week after New…Year…s…" all of a sudden people began to talk very loudly and yell.

Suzie looked to Elizabeth and said "Ma'am I need you to come with me…Ma'am…Elizabeth" once she had Elizabeth's attention she said again "Ma'am I need you to come with me. Let them work. She will be ok. They need to start her on Terbutaline to stop her contractions."

Elizabeth was pulled from the room by Suzie who walked her back to Blakes room and then on to the Family room.


End file.
